»Advanced technology
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I just downloaded the new app for blogger and now, i can blog using my phone with just a click. Technology is so advanced now. I wonder how will it turns out to be in the future.
Alrights, time to go get my lunch. (:
words spilled @ 1:20 PM /
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»Lesson learnt
Monday, September 26, 2011
Finally ended work. Remember the previous post when I mentioned that Caucasians ain't all that good. I think I had spoken a little too fast. Cause I can't judge others and I think they are overall, nice people and I met one honest one.
I almost lost a customer's iPhone yesterday. But I'm glad everything's fine now.
Yesterday was the final race and it was so noisy as usual and the queue just keep coming in. Then, I saw an iPhone on the table, presuming that it belonged to the customer whom had just walked away. Someone told me to run after him and I did. I passed it to him and he looked nonchalant. So I doubt it was him but he took it. I felt good because I did a good deed. Little did I know, one customer came and said he left his phone in our booth. I got a shock and I did not know what to do. Kok soon asked me to told him that I didn't see any. After telling him that, he walked away, sadly. I felt so bad. Guilt is building in me. I felt so bad. :'(
I know I am going to get into trouble and I did the usual thing which I will always do, I prayed. Pray to Father that everything will be alright. I was really lost back then. :'(
About 30minutes later, the guy which I had passed the phone to, came back, and told me the phone wasn't his. He returned the phone and I was really relieved. AMEN!
The guy who had lost his phone came back and was walking aimlessly hoping to find his phone back. I passed him back his phone and I felt so so so so so relieved! And I believe, this incident is not by coincidence but it is a way that Father wants me to learn something.
Really thank God for that. Lesson learnt. Never assume that a lost phone is someone's. Just hold on to it and the owner will come back for it.
And I will never want to judge anyone ever again.
And I don't want to do anymore bad things anymore. I will try. Cause the guilt is too hard to handle.
But I am really glad that I have my Father and everything will be double oh kay! :D
During day 2 when I was doing my Quiet Time, I learnt something as well;
Sometimes, when things doesn't go our way, it just meant that something better will come along. An example will be, I always pray to Father that I want to marry Onew Oppa. But I know it's impossible. But the things about God is, everything is possible. By a command from God, I might be blissfully married to him but sometimes, God didn't allow it to happen because maybe, something better is coming. He is the one who is piloting my life and He knows best. So I will have faith. I will see how my future will turn out to be. (:
For now, I just want to continue fangirling. hehehe.
But never will I let anything change the position of God in my heart. He is above all. Always my number 1! :D
words spilled @ 12:24 PM /
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»Dying days; Day 1
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Reached home at 2am in the morning. Bathe and slept at 3am. I thought I was so tired that I could fall asleep immediately but I could not seem to sleep. Had a peculiar dream. I dreamt of chickens and many people. I dreamt of Shinee, I dreamt of classmates from Secondary school and Poly. Dreaming that we are going to do a IRDD project about chicken. :|
Dreamt of Onew oppa. hehe. :D
Woke up in the morning at around 7.30am by my dad. He will usually give me a light peck on the cheeks when I'm sleeping, as he left for work. :)
I'm awake now. Waiting for mom to finish washing the laundries and I have to leave the house at 10.30am. I'm gonna be late. :P
Yesterday was really a scary and tiring day. F1 ain't that great. It was noisy, it was smelly. I'm glad there's earplugs because my eardrums could have broke and bled right on the spot after rounds of racing. There are many people. Caucasians mostly. After last night, I think that, Caucasians ain't that great at all. Most are nice and friendly but some just are unreasonable.
Anyways, it was so chaotic last night and I just want to go home. And I feel like reporting sick for today but I can't. I must hang in there!
Gonna stand for 12 hours today. :|
Hopefully today will be better after the kitchen and work stations are remodeled. Hopefully! Time past by faster! I think the only thing I can look forward to will be, I will not work anymore! Shall wait for school to start. Meanwhile, stay at home and have a big break!
Working feels different. It broke my daily cycle of checking twitter now and then about daily updates, surfing the net, etc. For now, I just want to end this job quickly and have my big break!
Pray for today. Pray that everything will be alright and time faster past by! Pray for strength too. Amen!
words spilled @ 9:30 AM /
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»Found, Mold and Formed
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Short update for the week. It's Thursday already and another week is going to be over again and that means, another week closer to the next semester which is the, final semester.
Stayed at home most of the days and from tomorrow till Sunday, I'm going to work for the F1 event. As a runner for a F&B supplier. Evon will be the cashier while me, her partner, as a runner. Hopefully I can handle the things that I am going to do. They say I have to handle with heavy stuffs, I wonder what heavy stuffs will it be and if I could carry it. Shall find out tomorrow. The next three days will be tiring, I guess. 2pm-12am work. I wonder if I could catch the last train.
Just Google search-ed it. The last train arriving at Pasir Ris is 0009hrs. Which means, I can't catch the last train. :'( No last bus either. Means there's only one way home, cab.
Alrights, shall start on my Major Project after this work.
During this remaining days, I want to train on something too. I want to train on my endurance to exercises and also, I want to mold my character. I want to be more firm in the things which I think is correct. I want to have a strong personality. Hopefully I can do it. I want to be more mature. And I don't need to be the best, I just want to be someone whom I am proud of. :)
Okays, shall anticipate work for the next 3 days, will commit everything into Father's Hand. I know everything will be alright with Him! :)
Gonna gain new experiences too. Amen! :)
words spilled @ 8:42 PM /
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»Beware! Of the road ahead
Monday, September 19, 2011
Felt rather down these few days. I guess I'm experiencing my downs lately. After the ups in life, it's time for the downs.
Holidays used to mean rest for me in the past when I was younger. Now, holidays meant work and lack of sleep. So many things happening in life that involve this thing term as "Money". I don't want to be a slave for money. Because money is really something that is so scary yet seems so harmless. Most of the people in this earth are always slogging their guts out for this thing. Root of all evil. :|
I told myself umpteen times that working meant gaining new experiences and earning extra allowance and every time, I look forward to having a job. But when there are jobs in hand for me, I felt scared, reluctant and negative. Just because I really want to stay home.
I really want to stay home this holiday. Do Major Project and the things which I want. I think after the F1 job, I'm gonna stay home as much as I could.
But then again, with the money I have now, I don't think I could go for grad trip, buy myself a sneaker and also, stop asking my mom for allowance.
The past few days were also bad because I felt lost. I can't seem to see where my life is paving to after graduating. Will I end up in a course in Uni which I want? What will my future job be? What will my future hold?
I felt so scared but I will hold on and pray. And I told Daddy God that, "If I'm too anxious and am going too fast, I hope He will stop me and guide me and learn to take one step at a time."
For now, I will focus on studies, projects and graduation. Then a vacation job will come and maybe I shall write down what I want to do in the future and 5-10years from now, I'm gonna check it again and see how different it is.
I think I could strike down one wish which I had been harboring. The dream to know oppa. Too, far fetched and surreal.
So many possibilities, so many paths. I hope I had taken the narrow path that Father wants me to take. Amen.
words spilled @ 11:45 PM /
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»Far fetched
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Maybe sometimes, dreams are just too far fetched and deemed as day dreaming.
It's always at night that my esteem and confidence and passions and enthusiasm and dreams-i-thought-are-possible hit the lowest.
Sometimes, life just left me gasping for breathe and helpless.
Maybe, I should just take small steps at a time and just stick to some more realistic goals.
words spilled @ 9:42 PM /
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»Liberation Obsession
I guess by now most of my friends know what my obsession is. Or rather, who my obsession is. Well, it's none other that Korean K-pop Boy group, SHINee's leader, Onew.
But I don't really view it as my obsession. He's a dream whom which I am working hard on. I don't really know how to put it in words but I will try.
Somehow, after the concert, being able to see him standing in front of me physically, there's this psychological effect that my brain had been telling me. He's real and he's there.
So, it's like falling in love again. But this time, with someone so real yet he doesn't know that I even exists. It's a one-sided love, just like the past few crushes in the past.
People might think that I'm being ridiculous and overly-obsessed with some celebrity, but to me, he's somehow an escape for me. I know that it's only a dream, an unattainable dream which will happen maybe in heaven. But, he's a channel for me to escape reality. There are times whereby I thought that it's only a matter of time that I will meet him and get married to him. I guess love makes people go insane in thoughts at times. Thinking of things which might happen.
But every time after seeing those activities that they performed in and seeing so many fans just makes me more self conscious. That I'm dreaming. Though we are living under the same sky but he does not even know me, the chance of being with him is like what others say, one in a million chances.
I know there will be a time where I have to let go and snap back to reality but I know the time is not now. I know where my passion is and I want to work towards it. Maybe, just maybe, one day I will be able to go to Korea and work there. Who knows? Only God knows. And His plan for me is going to be great! I just know it! (:
Somehow, falling in love does not really appeal to me and I can never imagine anyone being with me anymore. Maybe I will end up alone but I know that I will never be because Father is there for me. (:
For now, just let me continue this dream of mine. :)
Thought of the day; today I went for a morning jog, something which I had been pushing and delaying. I felt real good after jogging and doing some sets of exercises. I had my Quiet Time and I felt so refreshed. Then I had this thought. I know that it's a truth that I have to wait for their return. And I am getting anxious and impatient day by day. But maybe, instead of waiting, why not prepare? Prepare myself to be more presentable the next time they come, prepare myself to know their language so that next time I will understand what they are saying and at the same time, making myself grow. I want to be dreaming and at the same time, growing. Changing my dreams into plans.
Father knows best. :)
words spilled @ 5:43 PM /
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»Footwears
Friday, September 16, 2011
I had a sudden urge to buy such shoes. So pretty. This is from Reebok, from the series of Reebok Omni Lite Pump shoes. But that series is only for guys. Can girls wear guys shoes? I'm not the type of girls who likes heels and flats and wedges. I like to wear slippers and sporting shoes.
Went to look around at those sports outlets like Royal Sporting House, Nike, Adidas, etc. I spot a few of those shoes from brands like Puma, Reebok, Adidas and Nike. I think the Adidas and Reebok ones are more memorable to me.
I will save up and get one of those shoes. :D
It's unlike converse shoes. I don't like Converse shoes's material. I like these kind. So pretty. Must find one which I love! :D
words spilled @ 5:36 PM /
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»Making up
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I need a job to make up for my splurging habit. Guess what? I just spent $78 today to buy this Maypoly Hoodie. I was really hesitating whether should I get it or not. I prayed to Father if I should get it then mom came out telling me that, if I want to get it, use my own money. Usually, she will scold me but she didn't. I got it in the end.
It starts selling in Korea tomorrow and I pre-ordered today so that my reservation will be kept and I think it will reach SG on 21st September. I get to have a poster. :D
I was contemplating which color to get. I was thinking, I have 2 purple jackets already (:D) so I didn't pick that. So I was deciding between white and grey. So, I picked white. Another reason for me to cherish this hoodie, make sure that it won't be stained. Is white a good choice?
And also, I spent $45 yesterday on a wall and desk calendar. :P will arrive during November.
I was thinking should I get Lucifer Japanese album. I think not. haha!
I really need to control. haha.
words spilled @ 9:10 PM /
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»Post-Concert Syndrome
Monday, September 12, 2011
Now I understand the feelings of concert goers. The feeling of anticipation while waiting for the concert day to arrive then when the concert is finally here, all excitements just overflowed. Then everything ends. Its been 2 days. I felt so sad and just hope that time would just freeze during the concert. To make things worse, rumors of bad fan behavior and negative reviews from newspapers makes my heart drop, like literally I could feel my heart disconnecting from the veins and dropping. This feeling, it's like getting your heart broken over and over again. I may sound exaggerative but it's true. That's how I feel now.
Months to wait for them, hours of happiness and many many days in the future to miss them and hope to see them again. Hopefully they won't have bad impression of SG again.
What is this feeling that I am feeling? I just want to see Shinee again and Onew oppa.
I feel like a complete sh*t now. :'(
Father, help me!
Shall go for a run to make myself feel better.
words spilled @ 11:26 PM /
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»Chapters of life
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Another excitement in life fulfilled. This week had been a contradicting one. During the first few days of the week I was so upset. I'm dying internally as seconds goes by, in a bad way. Because I had ended my Internship.
Then as Saturday approaches until the moment I sat inside Singapore Indoor Stadium. I'm alive! The moment I see SHINee and Onew oppa, it makes me feel like I'm dreaming. They are standing there in front of me. So surreal. I had always been seeing them through youtube and videos and now they are right there in front of me, I felt so blessed! Because I never regard knowing them as by chance. I always believe that knowing Shinee to loving them to getting their concert tickets and finally sitting in the indoor stadium, it's all God's plan.
I'm jumping for joy! Onew oppa makes me feel so alive because it makes me realise that the person I had been admiring is real and he is there, right in front of me. And they are all like what was depicted in all the photos and videos I had seen. So real and genuine. Not an ounce of flaws. Onew oppa is not in a good condition, he's down with sore throat and he still strains his voice. I really hope he will be well! I know that Father will bless him! And them too! :D
I'm so happy, I really am. But this morning when I wake up, everything just felt like a dream. I had so many doubts. Everything just felt so real. But reality always come knocking the sense out of us. I have to admit, everything I had went through is just part and parcel of my life and so I really want to keep every moment alive. Kpop is one of the many chapters in life, whether is it past, present or future. But I never regret that, I love them. And I want to continue my dreams, to make them my plan.
Onew oppa just makes me feel more firm about my decision. My parents always say that, "We know them but does they know us?" This is very true because they can't possible remember everyone of us, especially not me. And I have to let go one day. Accept the truth that he is at the other side of the world, he will get married to someone he loves and have children, while me? I had told myself ever since the first day I set my eyes on Oppa, it's either him or no one else. I don't mind being single for the rest of my life. I can give my love for other people, not necessary for guys. Because I know that I had had enough of guys and sometimes, some guys are just so arghh. haha.
I know this will just be another dream that won't come true but then, I know that in whatever I do, Father will be there to guide me and I know, some day, I will get to know someone who is just like Onew oppa, so nice and sweet and armed with an adoring smile and with a gentle and soothing voice.
Anyways, SHINee and Kpop makes me understand that dreams that may seem so hard to reach can be attainable as long as you work hard for it.
But I will always make myself take note that, no matter how much I like them, my priority never shifts, my Father is always number 1! :D
One last photo before ending this post! :)
My future husband. heeee. :D
words spilled @ 6:37 PM /
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»When the emptiness sets in
Thursday, September 8, 2011
19 weeks and 2 days of SIP had just finished, maybe because I just ended this week, thus I still miss working there. Even though there are times when I don't feel like going to work because I'm very tired but there's just this magic touch to the office. Every time I am assigned a task and I could feel myself not procrastinate but want to do it.
As you can see from the photo, it's not every one in the office I had taken photograph with. There are a lot of people whom which I really miss and I think, I miss my supervisor the most. Though he is always busy but his care for us is like a father. His warm smile brightens my day and I will always look forward to him assigning me task. I always think that he is a good guy, a good husband. Instead of being a fierce boss, he chose to be a long winded and naggy type. But he is very detailed and every time we finish our tasks, we will feel very wishy washy when we are going to show him what we had done.
I also miss Shan shan jiejie. I miss everyone there! :'(
SIP aside, it's time for my vacation. There's always a time for everything and now, it's time for me to take a break before the new school term starts. I thought I could hide at home after SIP but I was wrong, meetings after meetings and my to-do list seems to be piling up and I really don't want to spend any unnecessary money. I guess I will push my Major Project for next week onwards. I shall have my fun this week. Going to SHINee's concert this Sat! Whees! =D
Alrights, I have another 6 weeks and 4 days till my new and final school term to start.
So many people I miss right now. Prispris is overseas and my friends. Suddenly felt so purpose-less after SIP. I guess this is what they call being not occupied by things and start to over-think. But, I will be alright soon! Cause I'm gonna see Onew oppa on Sat! =D
words spilled @ 9:17 PM /
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