I had been saving up recently. I'm trying to tighten my expenses. I'm saving on lunch by bringing my own bread to work. Because I want to travel to Seoul. I think the reason why I want to go to Seoul is because, I want to really expand my view of this Earth. See and feel the various parts of Earth as much as I could. The reason of wanting to see Korean pop idols, are small. They do contribute to why I want to go to Seoul but it plays a minimal part. I never travel before and I never thought of wanting to leave Singapore, even for a short trip but I guess, as one grows up, one wants to broaden their own knowledge of this place call Mother Earth. And it just so happen that, Seoul is the first country which I want to go to. (:

I had been wanting to find someone to go with me. I thought of Sharon, but then she say it will take her a while to go. So I reckon we will be going together this time round.

But I think, reality is something I have to cope with. Many people asked me, where do I want to go after graduating from Poly? The answer is, I don't know it myself. Of course, I want to go to Uni. But to pick the course which really interests me, is tough. What I want, I also don't know. I even thought that, joining the army will be good. haha.

After a talk with my colleague that day, I learnt a lot of things from him. He's leaving next month to join the Property line. He says, life's a gamble, whether will you make a right choice, it's a risk. And also, there's a distinct difference in working hard and working smart. Internship is just 5% of what we taste in real working society. Whereby tables turn and you are on your own.

I don't know will I make it big but I know, I will stand true to the decisions I make as I know, my Father will guide me along. I want to give my family a good life, I want my parents to stop slogging their guts out for life. I want them to stop and enjoy life and the only way to make them enjoy, I have to work hard. I want to make them proud. And I believe, with this pressure, I will work harder. (:

화이팅!

But life's not a smooth sailing one, I'm thankful to Father that He let me go through the ups and downs of life, not alone, but with Him.

For the past few weeks, it's been a roller coaster ride but I had gone through it with a heart full of praise and gratitude to Daddy God.

He makes me stand firm on my belief and to set an example to my peers. During my daily reading, I came across this Psalms. (I'm at Psalms now.)

It's from Psalms 15; my life motto for now,

"He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellow man, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the Lord, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.

He who does these things will never be shaken."

This is just one of the many things I have to abide. I will do my best and be the best person I could. Though I may fall at times but I know, with a prayer, things will be alright again. (:

Alrights, time for bed! =D

Annyeong! I could only use one word to describe the dinner just now. Awesome. =D

It's been a while since the 5 of us had sat down together and have dinner together. (:

Work has been fine. I will cherish the time in the office. (:

Wind is picking up in my room, I guess it's gonna rain soon.

Though I say I'm cherishing the moment now, but there should be a time when I plan for my future. I don't know. Dad's wish for me is to go to Uni after Poly. He don't wish for me to have a break in between to go for work. I don't know. I'm ok with both. But the problem is, I don't know which course will I take interest in. I should really start taking notice of the various courses already and should study harder. Hopefully nothing's too late for now.

Had quite a few encounters with babies today. Especially when my colleague brought her baby girl in today. She's such a dear. So cute. =D

Suddenly I feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Cause I thought of, maybe in a couple of years time, I will have a family and have a baby. Then I thought of who will my husband be. haha! I hope by then, I will experience what true love means.

For now, I will focus on studies because I know, whoever will be in my life next time, my Heavenly Father will plan for me. And I have faith in Him that everything will be alright. (:

As for now, I want someone who is a man after God's heart and also someone like Onew oppa. =D

Why him? Well, he got a nice smile. (I love guys with nice and warm smile.) =D And when he smile, I don't know why, I will smile together with him. (:

He got a warm and gentle character. He cares for others, even those he don't really know. He put others first.

He got responsibility and also, hardworking.

He respect others, especially people who are senior than him.

He is filial.

He's funny. He makes me happy. haha!

I just like him just the way he is.

I hope he will find a nice girl. (:

Oh! And lastly, his voice. He has got a unique voice and he sings well. (:

Annyeong~ Currently downloading Revit Architecture software. Priya and I were too bored today and we decided that we should start working on our project. Hopefully everything we do are not in vain and of use.

Gonna be more serious in the things I'm doing. Projects, healthy lifestyle, learning third language which is obviously, Korean. (:

I want to make full use of my life. Live like there's no tomorrow. Motto for now. (:

Alrights! Time for bed after downloading the software. Which I foresee, an hour more to go. Meanwhile, during this hour, tumblr time and also youtube hopping time. =D

Ikea dinner tomorrow with Jiejie, Prispris, Sharon and Evon! =D

Meatballs! =D

Just like the small bear, I feel so small now. There's something weighing me. I felt the burden. I felt my heart telling me, "It's time to pray!"

Indeed, I really need to pray. Ever since I became a child of God, I had always been relying on prayers. Because I know that my Father heard me. And knowing that, I feel rest assured.

I like working but then, not being able to blend in as part of the department is so hard to continue each day. There's just this barrier that I need to overcome. Knowing the fact that they are older than me, I will have the tendency to be not me in front of them. I will be all uncomfortable and this feeling is like, having guys around me. I feel uncomfortable with guys around.

I don't understand how certain people can be so close to their colleagues whereby they can joke around. But because of the age difference, I felt there's a need to be all proper and quiet around them. I told my friend who is encountering the same problem as me to not to worry, let nature take its course, but it's easy to tell her, but difficult for me to execute it. But I don't want to let her know how I feel because I'm afraid of demoralising her. So I'm putting up a front.

Another matter is, bible study group. I might not be able to continue with Jami anymore. =( That's the saddest part. I am so used to meeting Jami every week for the past 2-3 years and now, I have to bid goodbye to her. She say it's good for my growth to join people of my age group for bible study. She say I will have to get use to it because it's a transition period. Change! Why must you be here? =(

I will pray about it and I know God will guide me through this period! I know He will! (:

I must lift up my feelings. I have targets to reach for tmr! Got to finish doing the 4 items on my to-do list!

Hwaiting! (:

Had a great fellowship with them today. Now, I know why Father emphasizes so much on fellowship because it's also one way to not only boost my relationship with my friends, but also with Him as well. I love how we can sit down for hours just to catch up and also reminiscence about the past. About time in GB, about growing up and upcoming future things. Like what prispris says, the way God plan things are so cute. haha. He has His way of planning things and I'm thankful for that. Really.

I don't need any bgf relationships to motivate me on. Because I know that, Father always love me for who I am and He shows His love through my friends too. The concerns that they gave and their companionship through harsh periods. Makes me really strong and motivates me on. Thank you Father.

I will not pray with just my mind but also, I will put in my heart. There was one day when I came to realise, I haven't been praying so earnestly every night and day. Because I always doze off in the middle of the prayer and I don't find myself sincere at all. Then suddenly, this string of words came into my mind, prayers need not have big words, sometimes, small and easy words will make a powerful prayer. I will continue to pray for myself and also for my friends and family.

Throughout my whole 18 years, there are times of folly, times of stupidity, times of anguish, etc. But today, I want to be a girl after God's heart, a girl that when I go and see Him, He will pat my head and say, well done my dear daughter. From today onwards, in whatever I do, I will further improve myself. To be a better person, to commit everything unto God's hands. I know I can do it. The main thing is, to break down the barrier I had with that particular person, I don't hate her. I don't dislike her. Just felt that I need to keep my distance. But Father taught me to love everyone. I will obey Him and I know it takes time. But I know, one day I will succeed. Because everything is possible with Him.

One last thing to share before I go off. One passage I read from Daily Bread, this paragraph, motivates me.