»Feelings
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I will brighten up others' skies even though mine is grey and ominous. Today's outing was fun! hehe. I had my fun laughing at jokes made and the teasings they had on jiejie. haha! The incident at Yoshinoya and in the bus and on the way home. haha. It's fun. (:
Thanks for today! =)
Anyways, time to go to bathe now.
望着天空
瞭望着一望无际的天边，你的名字突然之间在我脑海里出现，这才发现你一直停留在我心里。
不可以再想你。我不可以。
因为我已不可以这么做。。。
我心里很痛苦，谁能理解？=(
words spilled @ 11:08 PM /
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»Friends, are lovely
"I'm not sure what my age should be acting like, but why should I act my age? Dressing up everyday is not fun. Acting crazy, having funny nicknames, doing multiple failed jump shots till leg pain, singing pri sch edited songs, failing an external exam together, my friends give me a reason to be young, which I am. Love the things that we are going to do everyday for the rest of our lives should be delayed as long as possible, or we would just start getting old."
-Sijin
Holidays are here and it's time for bonding session with friends. =D
I had my fun starting from this week. hehe. Admist the FLSM test, I managed to have fun. haha. Recent addict, Mahjong. haha!
Sentosa trip was fun ystd. Though not much tanning but still, I love playing basketball though we used volleyball as substitute. haha. (:
Tmr is K session with pris pris, shermeen jiejie, pong mama, sharon bb and evon monster. hhaa. (:
I should in bed now. haha! I can't because I'm hungry! hahaha. =p
words spilled @ 3:07 AM /
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»Believing
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Yes. Don't stop believin'. (:That brings me to the point that Glee season2 is finally OUT and I'm anticipating the 2nd episode. I especially love the part where they sang "Empire State Of Mind". haha. (:
I still love Dianna Agron! who is acting as Quinn Fabray in that show. She got this Anne Hathaway feel. I love girls falling under that category. hehe. =D Gosh, I sound so lesbian-ny. haha. =p
Okays. I'm meeting a crisis now. Fire and Life Safety Management! Ever since I got back my result for this subj, I totally felt lost whether should I still continue taking the optional exam for it. haha. Thanks to this subj, I've gotten my first D and there goes my GPA. I dropped out of the 3.5 range and I felt utterly disappointed about myself. But nonetheless, this motivates me to work harder next sem to pull up to the result I used to have. Jiayou! Hwaiting! (:
Ohya Shermeen jiejie! I guess you're not the only one that have problem with your tagboard. I could not tag you too. Because of the server thingy. haha. =)
Okays, back to studying. haha. It's suppose to be holidays now. =/
words spilled @ 12:21 AM /
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»Chips
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I've never felt so happy after a bite from the chips.
The chips I ate today made my feelings uplifted for that moment after a bite.
If everytime I ate one chip and the effect happens,
I don't mind wolfing down the whole bag.
I feel like eating the whole bag just now but I know the consequences I had to paid.
Sore throat, gaining weight, etc.
Just like the adage,
"There's a price to pay for happiness."
Last night, is the first night I had insomnia. Tossing and turning just to stop those thoughts to invade again.
Everything will be alright...
words spilled @ 9:12 PM /
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»If Only...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
If only I could summon up all my courage.
If only I can control time from slipping by.
If only I knew what you are thinking.
If only I talk myself out of this earlier.
If only I knew things will happen this way.
If only I gave up much easier.
If only I don't fall in too deep.
If only things were easier. So I don't have to struggle to keep those tears from flowing down.
My life is too full of "If Only(s)". I had used them up and I could no longer use them anymore. Even though it hurts and it kills. I could no longer keep up with this pretence and go on anymore.
Just...
Let me be...
words spilled @ 11:22 PM /
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»Losing my touch
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Things ain't always easy. The more I got to be optimistic.
I feel so lost. So out of touch. From the outside world. It's not something that can be solved by going out frequently. I love staying at home. If I had the choice, I would rather stay at home always. But still, I miss my friends, I miss everyone.
Still, I don't understand human. I will never get to understand. Sometimes, going out with friends ain't always enjoyable. I guess recent outings ain't that fun. Yes, I do have moments of fun but still, it always got me thinking. Like, 'Why are things like this? I felt distant from everyone. Is it me or everyone? I guess it's me.'
I can't feel the happiness I used to have. I guess, I had forgotten what laughter really meant.
The most I can't accept is, I guess, hmmms. Can't really define the term for it but it's something like, being use. I'm needed this moment, and I'm called upon and when I'm not needed, I'm chuck away. =/ And, whenever I knew this friend first and later, we are not close anymore because he/she becomes a close friend of my friend. Just because there's no communications between us. I admit the fact that I don't like to talk. Either on msn or reality or phone calls. Thus, things changes. Guess, this is the fact that I got to admit and change.
Nonetheless, I shall go to bed now. Clear everything and put everything unto God's Hand. (:
words spilled @ 11:32 PM /
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»Loner, may be a good thing at times
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wasted my day away due to using the comp. But still, this had been something I had not been doing for quite a long time.
Listening and watching videos of SNSD (Girls' Generation). I really love them. (Y)
The power of 9. =D
Should not waste my day away anymore. Should read the books I had borrowed from the library.
I want to go for a jog. Starting tmr I guess. Is it ok to run everyday? I doubt so. haha. Must let my leg rest. Then I should do it every other days. =)
Well, being a loner might not be a bad thing at times. Because I find great joy at it some time. When I don't want to talk, when I just want to be alone. Home is where I want to be at. I can don't talk for a day, just listening to the music which I love. Guess, this is me.
Without having to worry about a single thing, worry about the feelings of others, without having to worry about what others want me to do but I don't want to. Without having to get work up at times, etc etc.
Going back to school tmr to be a loan shark. =/
My instinct tells me that, it will be a wasted trip...
words spilled @ 7:25 PM /
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»Put down, Smile and Move on
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Put down because it's hurting, Smile because I've tried my very best, Move on because I know I have to.
Always knew things will end up this way. Because I knew this would happen. I guess, it's really time to move on and start afresh. Since the beginning of the year, I told myself, it's time to put down and move on. I never managed to persuade myself to. Guess, it's time to because I had dragged too long. Never will I look back anymore. Not even a peek.
It will hurt so much, is I brought upon it myself. It had always been a one-sided thing. I don't need courage anymore. All I need is time.
Put down, Smile, Move on and Goodbye to you.
Hwaiting! =)
words spilled @ 1:55 PM /
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»Friends; Dreams; Empty
Monday, September 13, 2010
3 days of job, over and done in just a poof. Time was passing by quickly over there because everyday, we got to make new friends and building friendship with the aunties and everyone there.
Well, Evon and me had a discussion about 'evon-know-them'. teehee. Awww. I miss them. hehe. =D Well, I wanted to get a New Urban Male Party Tank, which had Brazil printed on it. By this coming Sunday. Because promotion till then. Well, time to get a new job, hopefully.
But now, I want to relax and watch Personal Taste. =)
I'm getting over imaginative these few days.
And I believe, I could get myself up from the fall,
Soon.
words spilled @ 4:19 PM /
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»Slog my guts out
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I'm slogging my guts out, working. haha. It's a 3-day job. At Suntec Convention Hall, there's a warehouse sales going on. Tmr's the last day. It was fun working over there cause I got to know many people. Evon and me were like so bored on the first day. haha! But as time goes by, everything was quite alright. New Urban Male is just beside us, we got to know 5 of them so far. First day's guy resemble Wen Su, today's morning shift, there's one that looks like Desmond. haha.
The auntie that sells King Koil merchandise is also vey friendly. She talked to us a lot and there's this lady who sells Pyjamas. She's a very hip mother, I could say. haha.
Anyways, I had my fun working. Tmr is going to be busy because it's a Sunday. haha. =)
Hwaiting! =D
words spilled @ 12:52 AM /
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»Game Over
Thursday, September 9, 2010
OHYES! Exam's over and now, I can sit back and relax. haha. Nah, there's still one more exam coming up, Fire and life Safety Management (FLSM) exam which I am clueless about it because I had been skipping this particular lecture. Well, I think the lecture attendance for this subject is like less than 10. =/But now, I shall have a little break first before starting to study. Hmmms. Well, the past 3 papers were alright, I have confidence in them but, today's paper is screwed. Totally screwed. =( haha. But still, shall see how things goes. They say result will be released on the 24th which is 2 weeks from now. Gonna play a little first before facing the music. haha!
Okays. Going to celebrate grandma's birthday soon! hee. Looking forward to it! =D
"What if I say I still want you?
What if I don't?
Well, I guess, it makes no different anymore..."
words spilled @ 5:10 PM /
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»Just 1 more
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
3 down and 1 more to go! But, I had yet finished studying for tmr's paper and I don't feel like starting because I'm getting restless. Thinking that there's still 242 more slides to go just makes me so sleepy. haha!4 days straight examination is such a bad and good idea. Makes me restless but at least I won't drag till next week then I could smell the freedom. Yawns. Shall go for a nap awhile before attempting my 242 security slides. haha! Hope tmr's paper will have mercy to me. =D
Well, PM was alright, manageable. IRDD was ok too, just that I made quite a number of careless mistakes. And Air con is the best because it's open book. haha. Though open book but I need one more important element and that is time. haha. Managed to finish the paper in time but! Still very rushing. haha. And, I think I need 2 tables for this paper. There's just simply no more place for me to place my books and notes. haha. Well, it's over. Now, time for a power nap and tmr Security paper and I could see my grandma alr! Teehee. =D
Lying on the bed and feel that, I belong with the bed. haha. It's sucha nice weather to sleep in! Especially with mouth wide open. haha! -O
One last thing! Found this while searching for pictures.
words spilled @ 3:32 PM /
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»Being happy
Monday, September 6, 2010
난 당신이 그녀와 함께 행복 알아.
난 내 스스로 관리할 수 있습니다
왜냐하면이 모든 동안, 난 가을 때마다, 난 다시 내 자신을 데리러
Hwaiting! =)
words spilled @ 10:51 PM /
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»The Big F
Don't misunderstand what I meant on my blog title! Well, the Big F does not really just mean the 4 alphabets vulgarity but it could also mean other things. World changed us to be corrupted that it neglects the fact that F can mean other things too. Family and Friends.
Well, this post is going to be something like this. Family and friends.
Well, I don't like things that are going on now but neither can I do a thing to change anything. I just want to know what exactly happens. Have it ever occur that all these arises because of misunderstanding? I don't know but looking at things on my own perspective is not helping things at all. Well, friends, you know? I miss you all. Even though there's a lot of things going on, I really miss the fuzzy feeling whenever I see us all together.
What happen to the past? Have it all gone or vanish in thin air?
I never felt so happy when I see us all together. Though I don't share any deep secrets within this family but I'm just glad that at least, I have a family to turn to. Others casting envy looks when they see us all together. What happened?
I believe all these happens because of some reasons as for the real reason, I know nothing about it but, I know that whatever happens, Heavenly Daddy is here. The best I could do now, is to pray and to believe. Faith may waver but I'm not giving up. Try me.
words spilled @ 6:11 PM /
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»My Sister, In-Christ
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Ever felt someone who is so dear to you that she is just like your biological sister though she's not?
Well, I have one. She is my sister in-christ, Jami.
Towards her, I have gratitude and guilt. Gratitude because she had been imparting all her knowledge to me and whatever she learns, she taught me. She lets me understand, care, love and be patience and many more. She teach me valuable lessons which none could teach. She makes the effort to meet me every Friday. The love she had for me, the care and perseverance. I had felt it and am grateful to God that He had placed her in my life. No words can describe how thankful I am towards her. I'm not good at expressing but I really wanted her to know that she had always been the one I am looking forward to every Friday. Those few hours of my life had been enjoyable. Many things, I had looked at my own perspective but she taught me things that I had never thought of. No matter what, thank you Jami and I love you! =)
Well, for guilt part, basically is because she had been making the effort while some times I will stood her up because I had something on. I'm really sorry! I will make a point, to always push away whatever things I had and meet you. =)
Thank you God for placing every one in my life and also for Jami. A big sister I look upon. Who taught me and slowly guides me that she is the only one who I dared to pray out loud to God in front of. Amen. =)
words spilled @ 12:26 AM /
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