I dragged myself out of the bed and bathe. I was very tired despite I slept at 11pm the night before.
School was quite ok today. The Malays left at 10.30am.

Chemistry lesson was bad. I really could not adapt to it, the different teaching styles, the atmosphere that's different and etc. I told myself before that no matter how tough the going is, I must hang in there. But yet, I sort of lose myself. I walked to the toilet, fighting back those tears. I walked back and forth. There's still a chance for me to turn back and join back the Pure Science student but I'd told myself that I must be adament to my choice.
English lesson, in AVA room. Today's teacher is Margaret. She keep saying "bloody hell", "how do I work this damn machine." There's only one word to describe her. Scary. I dont know, but when she looks me in the eyes, I feel scared. hahas.

After school, celebrated Pearcesley's 13th birthday. Happy birthday. :D
The most fun thing is Leongwei's hamster. The truth is that I'm scared of hamster because I'm afraid of its bites. But after today, I think I sort of overcome my fear. :D
I sort of have fun today. Thanks BianTai and WeiSian and LeongWei.

Ok, recess, Sharon, KaiWei and me joined JianXin because he was sitting alone. When I looked at him, he's like so poor thing. He used to have a crowd of friends, but now, he's all alone. He said he rather be alone than with those friends of his. I dont know what they do to him but I know it sort of sad that we are alone. Lucky I had a common interest with him which is soccer. We watched soccer and we like Manchester United hence there's still some talking we could talk about.

Looking at the hamster had sort of refresh my memory about BeiBei. I miss her. Even though Leongwei's hamster dont really look like BeiBei but there's still some resemblance. Well, BeiBei, rest in peace. I miss you. ]=

I'm ecstatic! No, more than ecstatic. Jubilated? Well, I can't find the right word for it cause no words can express how happy I am now. hahas. Firstly, my prayers were answered. ANSWERED!. hahas.
First prayer, for Jieni. She say with God's strength, she's able to do her paper. Wohoo! :D Will continue to pray for her de! :D
Secondly, my beloved MP3 revive. wahahaha. My dad was telling me to charge it to try again. There's also an inner voice telling me to charge it, so I charged it. And you know what, the screen light up. I was like God, you answered my prayer! Early this evening, I was looking at my MP3, thinking that, "God, only you have the power to revive this thing here. Only miracle could happen." And there is it. Miracles happen! So, in whatever thing, trust in the Lord is the utmost thing. :D

Ok, today is the first lesson of my Combined Science. I could not get use to it but I will slowly adapt to it. I still miss Ms Zaleha's teaching. She is the rockiest Chem teacher I had ever come across, and she will always be. Ms Zaleha, your the best.

I think I need a shopping list. I had been wanting to buy a cage for BaoBao, my cute lil' hamster. He's so poor thing, stuck in a small cage and and also, should buy a new hamster wheel and hamster ball for him to exercise. hahas. My bro had been complaining that he's eating and eating, not exercising, resulting in becoming fatter and fatter. But, I love him just the way he is. I'd not been spending time with him and I don't want history to repeat like what happens to BeiBei, his wife.

BaoBao's very cute the whole day. hahas. Wanted to catch him and play with him yet he was afraid to come out of the cage and maybe because my bro's being a scary monster. hahas. Anyways, nothing feels better than playing with my cute lil' hamster. :D

Okays. No more problems of yesterday, not able to download the codes. This is the skin which I found favour in.

Firstly, I wanted to really thank God today. I was praying for a choice. For a decision. I somewhat sensed that God had spoken to me. And with the decision made, I am not gonna be shaken. I dont know if I will regret or not, but, time will tell me whether my choice is a wise one or not.

Secondly, wanna say thanks and sorry to my dad and mum. They are so supportive of me yet time and again I'm failing them. I promised, I will do my best after I had made that choice of mine.

Thirdly, wanna say thanks and sorry too to Ms Zaleha. She's a great teacher. But yet, I'm failing her and disappoint her time and again. I'm sorry.

Lastly, I wanna thanks Cherie for her understanding. I'm sorry that I didnt tell you the reason for looking for Ms Zaleha. I think you should had guessed it. The reason that I'm not telling anyone is that, I dont want to be shaken again. I want to adhere to the choice which I'd made. I'm not adament enough and everytime i will be cajole into returning back to the path which I know that I should not have taken. Thanks for the advise too. Ya, it's true. Listen to what my heart is thinking. I will. Thanks Jie. [=

"No more Jealousy."

Well, I've been thinking, what if everyone in this world had been candid to everyone, pin-pointing out what they dont like about them, or like about them so that they can improve their attitude or anything, is that a good thing or not. But if telling all these "feedbacks", will it hurt one's feelings? Being too candous is not good, or good. Well, it just depends on how that person looks at it.
I would appreciate it if my friends tell me about what they hate about me. So that I could change. I know it's too late to ask them now, but i think that it will be like being a good vanessa for the remaining days being with them.

left with 22 days to O's. I've told Cherie today, if she's gonna retain, ask me along. Not that I'm doing out for the sake of fun or anything, I just think that I deserve to be retaining. Since last year, after I had received my End-Of-Year results, I had the mentality to retain though. If I'm still Sec3 now, I will definitely work very hard. I'm regreting now. I am thinking of dropping Science, but is it too late? KaiLin say it's like not worth it. Cherie too, say that dropping like puttin those efforts to vain. But the fact is that, the ones that are working hard are them and not me. I had been grabbing the slightest opportunity to slack. Everyone's working hard, I'm not. I'm like betraying my teachers, my friends.

Oh well. ]=

"Love, is it that important? I had been asking God something and did not receive it because I'm asking it for the wrong motives, I've know my mistake. I should cherish you more. Now that I wanted you to be back, it's too late already."
"Grabbing the slightest opportunity to talk to you because I know that I'm not going to be able to talk to you anymore. Maybe for the rest of the life time."


I've changed the blogskin. This took me ages. Well, for a computer idiot like me, I think its considered to be good already? hahas.


These two days were quite tough to get through. Not enough sleep when I'm sleeping earlier and earlier each day. I'm quite ambivalent about many things. I've been writing quite a lot of things on my personal diary. There are just some things which I could not blog out. And I dont want to let anyone know. Sorry friends. It's not anything about anyone of you just some things which I've been struggling with about and I had sort of come to a conclusion to the problem.

Today was raining heavily in the morning. Luckily I brought my jacket along. MT lesson, Shermeen jiejie, Pris and me were outside the fourth floor study corner. I suddenly had this random thought, I wanted to be ambidextrous. But it's tough though. hahas. Pris said that her mum bought the whole series of CSI and they started talking about things which I could not stand hearing it. The most scariest movie which I could accept is the Texas Massacre. When I was hearing them saying the story lines which they had watched from movies, I could not help but feeling a cold shiver down my spine. Man, it's gross can. I'm not sadist, Jiejie is. hahas.

Oh ya, my classmates were like treating the sch as though their home. hahs. They took off their shoe and socks and some even hung them on the window. It was like eee. hahas.

There was this English course which was like sort of fun to attend. I think the whole class signed up for it. No choice, for English, I shall attend. :D

I've found the song which I had heard from 987fm. It's not With You by Chris Brown, whereas it's Crush by David Archuleta. Worth listening to. :D

"Toldyouattitudeisnotaproblem. Nowthattheproblemissurfacing,it'snotattitudeproblembuttheintrudingofthethirdparty. No,i'mthethirdparty. Isomehowsensethatyoutellingmesomething. AmIbeinganirritanttoyou? youdonthavetotellme,IknowIam. I'mafraidtonotbeingabletotalktoyouagain. Whyarewedriftingfurtherandfurtheraway?"

Whenever I sees words like sad, gloomy, or whatever that describes someone is not feeling happy, I will tend to have interest in it. I know that I'm not happy but I can't seems to find what is the cause of it. I could not sort it out. I will not feel like that in the past. Is it because of stress? Is it because that I am living each day without having any purpose or goals in me? Is it because I am living each day with a heart that dont feel like continuing to beat on?

My mind's a mess, each time I wanted to get away from the reality, it baffles me. Am I able to take a break from those backlogs of undone practices and memorising of notes?

Studies, friendships, absence, undecisive decisions, being fickle minded so on and so forth. I'm dying. All I could do to get out from this messes, is to say a little prayer to God.

I'm depending more and more on God, I think it's a good thing. What if I still had not know God by now? I think my life will be chaotic, more than chaotic.

"I think I should stop."

Today is Chocolate Day. Whenever there's some thing that concerns about chocolate, the first person that flash through my mind will be Shermeen jiejie. hahas. But, today Shermeen jiejie didnt come sch, heard that she's not feeling well. Jiejie, must take care ah. :D

Okok, today school was quite ok. English, replacing the word, nice, with different words. Was exposed to different words which could be used. hohos. SS, Mdm Fara didnt come! Wohoo. Emaths, we slacked quite a lot. Chemistry, we did a Catholic High Paper 1, I've got 26/38. Thank God, I didnt fail. Phew. English, Mdm Saleha blew her top. When I was near the classroom, I could hear her bellowing. And and I saw a spoiled whiteboard duster lying on the floor. We were good boys and girls in class, after a scolding.

Ok, for the next two weeks, there will be an intensive training for those B students for Emaths. Every day! 3 hours per day. 2.30pm-5.30pm. Monday to Friday. I will grab this golden opportunity and work hard and clinch an A1 for Emaths. To make Mr.Tan proud. :D

Ok, tmr, hope there's PE cause it's basketball! :D

Ok, one year had passed. Tmr's the one year. Friends, if my attitude sucks tmr, wanna apologise to you all here first.

Today ah, I've started studying. hahas. Emaths is today's subject.
Later on, I will study for tmr's Chemistry test and do my as promised, daily essay. I am just thinking, who will mark my written essay. If there's no one to mark my essay, how will I know where I had gone wrong. hahas. Well, anyone kind and good enough to mark for me? :D

So now, shall go and study. Byes.

"Just a little smile for me and it will make my day :D"

Okok, I shall blog as much as I could since I had decided to use less of the com. My determination shall not be wasted and be in vain.

Today, went to Church, as usual, I learnt things which I will never learn during lesson time. Went to Kaleo. We broke up into groups, discussing about Psalms 46. We prayed for each other and during the last discussion, they ask us how could we let our friends who were non-believers to believe in Christ. I suddenly remembered my group of friends, and the book which I had read before about 13minutes in Hell.
I really wanted badly for my friends to accept Christ but I know that this kind of things could not be rushed. It is up to oneself whether they wanted to believe anot. But I believed that God will work in their live. I hope one day I could be a living testimony of God's work in my life and I hope that I am good enough to exhibit Christ-like characteristics to my friends. Why do I wanted badly for my friends to accept Christ is because I wanted them to not go to hell. I dont want them to suffer. And also, I hope that my parents could receive salvation but I know that this is like mission impossible, whever I mentioned about going to church, they will be very unhappy about it, but seriously, all I could do now is to pray that God will work in their life.
Actually I was exposed to Christianity when I was Sec1, I really thank God that He leds me to the GB family. As I listenend to God's Word and it was till last yr that I finally accepted Christ in my life and and, 2 more months to my one year old. 10december. :D

Last day of slacking and time to start producing brain juices for tmr onwards' battle. I must have discipline in my studies from now on. From tmr onwards, I will go home when there's no more lessons after school, I will go out less, I will use the com lesser, maybe twice or thrice a week. Most importantly, I must clear away those complex thoughts and focus on my studies. Jiayou my friends and me. God will be with us. (Psalms 46:7 and 11)






Today, I slacked. Throughout the whole day, I'm slacking. hahas. It's exactly a month left to the O's. 30 more days. I did planned for my studies today. I've already knew what I'm gonna do after this week. I just need actions. Words without actions are just like empty promises.

Ok, tmr, going church and after church, shall go and do my homeworks. I have two undone essays, both situational and free writing. I dont know how to do. The topic is, "Write about a time when one of your relatives got into trouble and brought shame to his/her family." Mdm Saleha said that stealing is outdated and boring so we should write something more creative and logical.

My left fore finger and middle finger were hurt yesterday and thus resulting in me unable to bend my hand and being a left hander, I could not hold a pen properly. haahs. I remembered Sharon telling me that we shoould swoop hands cause she had hurt her right hand and I had hurt my left hand. hahas.

My thoughts about the Prelims, "Ok, I've known that I'd done my best, even though the result which came out are not my expectations and that I had one last and final chance to go, this time I must grab it tight, not letting it go. Cause Olvl is not a joking matter. This is my one and only chance. Even though my Prelims, I did not get an A. But Olvl I must get it."

To my friends,
"No matter what result you all get for Prelims, dont brood over it anymore. This is just a stepping stone to Olvl. If you keep on brooding over it and not get on moving, what about your Olvl? So, go on, face the Olvl without any fear about Prelims' results. Prelim acts as an alarm to wake us up, so, if you did not done well, it's time to wake up and go. So, my dear friends, Jiayou! :)"

Last but not least, I wanna wish my friends who will be taking their End-Of-Year Examinations next wk, to jiayou and wish them all the best and hope that they will clinch the results which they wanna have. Jiayou! :)

Got back my Physics Prelim, I had been expecting a F9 grade but thank God, I've got a D7 instead, not that I'm happy about the result but it is way way way above my expectations. I've got 49.5/100. Ms Neo told me that it will be rounded up, so, phew. A wave of relieve.

School was quite okay as usual. After school is the more fun thing to mention.
After school, basketball again. This time, not as many people as yesterday but it's still as fun as yesterday. There's BianTai, KiatWee, WeiSian, LeongWei, MinNing, QiYan and Lionel. Talk about BianTai, we had newly recruited two members, BianTai-H, HanLin and BianTai-T, Pearcesley. hahas. Play and play and play. The sun was as usual, scorching hot, I've got sunburnt. hahas. KiatWee is great. Not only can he play soccer, he could play basketball too. hahas.
My shooting skill was bad, out of many balls, I dont think I had manged to shot in one. Shucks! ]=
Okays, while I was walking back home, my right leg was hurting, not only the blister and the sprain, but there's something sharp as though there's a shattered glass in it. I struggled home. I walked until the school gate and I stopped there for quite a number of minutes. It's so pain. When I reached home, I checked for the unknown object, only to find out that it's not a glass but a rusty stapler bullet, two in fact. No wonder it's so pain. It's like poking through my flesh.
Okays, I hurt my left hand, my right ankle and no more. hahas. Was karate by EvonMonster. hahas. But no harm was done. hahas. [=
Evon, Cherie, take care ah. [=

"Complicated"

Ok, today I encountered Satan's attack. While we were going through the Amaths paper 1, I suddenly felt really down. Because I knew that I'm gonna flunk it. There was this voice within me, saying, "See, where's the God you had been worshipping? Where is He? If He's here, how come your results suck big time!" I could felt the struggle in me, the struggle to fight off the stupid voice. I was struggling, I could feel the tears circling my eyes. And somemore, it's raining outside and that stupid voice came back again. "It's raining so heavily now, havent you just prayed for the rain to stop? Why is it getting heavier?"
At that moment, I've got an urge to shout out telling that stupid voice to stop. And, I managed to break free from that irritating voice. I keep on thinking, "God, I know that this is a test you are giving me, I know I could do it, please don't let go of my hands." Suddenly, as though miracle had just happened, the rain came to a stop and I felt relieved at heart. That voice was gone and my mood lighten. I could no longer felt the struggle, the stress, the pain and everything. All I know is that, God is there. God had fought the battle with me! And we won! Amen!
You might think that this are loads of craps, but believe me, it's true!

Okays, my results sort of sucks big time.
Eng Essay, Section 1, 16/30; Section 2, 17/30.
Emaths, overall, 61.9.
Chemistry, MCQ, 25/40.

This seriously is a wake up call for myself, I will buck up and do well. Jiayou Van! [=

Okok, after school, of course it's basketball! We played a full court game, which is not tiring for me. hahas. Maybe because there's more ppl. All are pros except for me. hahas. JianXin, WenSu, JunQuan and KokSoon taught me lay-up. I think I sort of master it, just that now it needs more practice. Maybe tmr. hahas. After tmr, there will be no more basketball for me. No more. I must control myself. The sun was scorching hot, and I rest quite a number of times. When we're playing the full court game, my right wrist's cut was being scratched again. It bleed too. There's one more cut on my hand. Evon fell down, take care monster!

Okays, I shall go write an essay. My motto, "An Essay a day, keep the F's away!"

"An essay a day, keep the F's away" :D

I went to Central Park just now to fetch my basketball home. hahas. Leong Wei and Wei Sian were there playing then suddenly a group of ppl came in and they started playing match. Leong Wei and me were sitting on the side benches watching them play. It was then I realised that this was called the real game of basketball. Each ball shooted, confirm went in. They were good players, they knew that moves they got the moves. I was really impressed by them, how I wished I could be like them. But first thing first, I'm gonna brush up my shooting skill and also, learn layup. hahas. Basketball needs practice and it will be perfect. But now, time is not on my side, there's a major exam, so I'm gonna put my focus on my studies first den during the holidays will be basketball.

After the Prelims, I had been telling myself I'm gonna study, I'm gonna study but this kind of psycho-ing dont really seems to impact me a lot. But I know where I stand in studies, I may not be the best but I'm gonna do my best. I decided not to drop my pure sciences. Even though I will end up getting a failing grade on my Prelims, but I'm not gonna let it happen on my O'lvl cert. People keep asking me, to go JC or Poly. I think I'd decided. To go JC if I could, if I couldn't, I will go Poly, Business course will be fine but all come to all, I will see what grade I'm getting. I will do my best. I will.
I dont really like Poly life because the timing's not that fixed and that I usually dont socialise well with peers, I might end up being the anti-social one. I'm learning to open up. I hope I could but everytime I try, I ended up failing. But, I will break free from that, and start socialising, soon, I hope.

Oh well.

"Caught up in dilenma"

Today was not really well spent. I woke up at 9pm and was lazing on the bed till about an hour later. I was listening to the radio too. I had my breakfast and was in and out of my room. I was watching tv show when Evon sms-ed me. She's watching movie and I cant go out today cause I had to be my younger brother's companion. I was in my room listening to 98.7FM. Had been addicted to this FM these few days especially Muttons! from 8pm till midnight.

Oh ya, I remembered watching a movie last few nights, I think its Saturday if i'm not wrong. I think from this movie I sort of understand what does true love really meant. This movie was casting a rich girl ran away from home with a guy because she found herself pregnant and they led a poverty life, worrying about their meals. But there was this particular scene, it impacted me real hard. True love does not need material things involved, as long as both of them are truly in love with each other, nothing could change the love they have for each other. Well, that was always the case in television shows and fairytales. When reality sets in, not everything ends up like "and they live happily ever after". Well, maybe that's the challenge of love. Oh well.

Time seems to be crawling. I'm bored, very bored, uper bored. I seriously thank God that school didnt grant us the one month study break. One day is already torturing enough, if it's a month, I will become ancient! Too dramatic though. hahas.

There's no sign of swollen on my right ankle. But it just hurts on the toes and the ankle. Maybe it's just one of my imagination. Oh well.

Labels: Bored

My 200th Post! This is like the longest lasting's blog I had ever had. It was like so fast. 200th post just like that. Anyways, I changed blogskins again. I'm addicted into changing blogskins. So ya. hahas.

Today's Amaths Paper 2 was easier than Paper 1 but I hope I could pass. Went to play basketball after that. I'm sorry Evon and Sharon. I'm really sorry for my attitude problem. I think I'm getting from bad to worst man. I must change! I must!
Ok, I ended up being scratched on the right wrist, it hurts when I bathe! hahas. And also a sprained right ankle.
I must go improve on my basketball skill already. It's deproving.

Finally Prelims were over. I could relax today and maybe tmr. Humans are so irony. I think me. When there's a need to study, I tend to be laid back and stuff but when it's time to relax, I'm starting to miss studying. Irony me. Anyways, I'm rather angry with myself though.

"Is it because of her?"

Amaths Paper 1, killer paper. The questions which I had confidence on is just like 9marks upon 80. Man, 31 more marks to pass. As I was doing the paper, I was thinking that Mrs Tan and Mr. Tok are so gonna kill me. Because I am writing craps in, throwing every ounce of Amaths formulae I'd remembered.
I didnt use the formula sheet's formulae because none of the questions had anything to do with the formulae. I hope tmr's paper 2 will be a breeze. But I dont think so though. hahas. Paper 2 usually is a more killer than Paper 1.

Okok, after exam, 9plus, went for early lunch and off to tuition. Didnt really had the mood to study. I'm really scared about tmr. And and, I bought an eraser, gosh, it stink like what man. Like burnt rubber. blehh. Stinko!
Went home at 4plus. I had a haircut. Now I think I dont have to tie hair to school already. hahas. I dont know will it look nice to others not. hahas. Well, I shall not care. Because to me, outward appearance does not bother me. [=

Anyways, time to study. Tmr's the last paper! GO GoGo!
I wanna play basketball. [=

"I'm confused."

Third post of the day. I think I am suffering from severe addiction to blogging illness. Because I have been blogging very short posts these few days, had not been really happy about it myself. This is my 198 posts? 2 more posts to 200th!

Okays, my last paper will be on tues, 12.55pm, if the teachers didnt delay or anything. After the paper, think BianTai-ians gonna go relax, going safra? I dont know. hmms. anyways, after the small relaxation, must go fight again. I'm gonna work hard. Now is just empty talking, no actions done, but I will prove that I will work hard ya?

I had found out that I've got this bad habit. I will always tend to promise my friends to go somewhere with her, after the second I had promised her, I will feel reluctant to fulfill the promise made. This is a bad habit which I must really change. Sorry friends, for the many unfulfilled promises I had made to you all.

Anyways, lesson's resuming next Thursday, I shall treasure the time in it. That might be the last time I will step into the familiar classroom anymore. Friends too, I am gonna miss them tonnes. The friendships which I had made, I'm not gonna forget any single one. Teachers too.

The com had been on 9hours straight already, I'm such a electricity wasage person, I shall use less os the com, to save the world. To stop global warming. hahas. I'm talking crap. Another of my random crap.

Hohohos. Second post of the day. I'm slacking even though I'm left with Amaths paper which I vowed to get an A. Anyways, I watched MTV awards today. I heard many songs, nice songs. And everything. And and I found a common trend among the winners. All started with Thanking God. wohoo! Because it was God they are thanking!

Okays, I think I shall go study hard le.

"There's a lot of things which I wanted to say but could not express out, hence, I cried."

hahahs. There was once which I had said that my blogskin can't be changed right? But, I finally able to change it. hahas. I think this blogskin was ok. I will still find more. But, putting the links on is a tiring job. Well, I should be studying for Amaths today but yet, I didnt. I was spending time playing with my blog. hahas.

If I had not link you, tag me. [=

Today's Chemistry was quite ok for me but KaiLin and the rest thinks that Physics was easier, which I think is the other way round. I'm abnormal. But I dont know. I hope I could get at least an A for my Chem though, cross my fingers and pray hard.

Emaths paper 1 was quite ok. Paper 2 had killed me. History is another one. Killed me again. Physics needless to say, I'm already... ]=
Left is the Amaths which I'm gonna study real hard for it.

After sch, went Shermeen jiejie's hse. It got a cosy feeling. [=
Went lunch at FP and went to look at bicycle with Pris and the rest, she bought a bike which made me wanna ride my own bike. Played BB. Something happen though.

Just wanna apologise to BianTai. I'm sorry, but I wanna tell you all that, I didnt meant to gain sympathy by crying.

Hohohos. I'm so dead for my Physics. hahaha. Tmr's Chemistry I must Jiayou! I decided to not add in my Physics for my L1R5. So, I must buck up for my Chemistry. I've decided to study hard, real hard after the Prelims. No more going out after school. No more. And and, there's no more one month study break for us anymore. Our study break will start at 3rd october if i'm not wrong.

These few days' posts had been short because I'm out of topic to talk about. hahas. I wanna cut my hair! :D
Anyways, I know I've tried my best. [=

I'm so dead for tmr's Physics. I had been having this thought, "Ai ya, it's just Prelims, heck care la. The most important thing is O level." These thoughts keep circulating on my mind. Everyone's chioning for the Prelims yet, I'm laid back.
Eng, Emaths, History, SS are down. Left overs are Amaths, Physics and Chemistry.
The three of them, my most feared subjects. Especially Physics, I totally have no interest in it and also, i dont understand most of it. But, I will do my best. No matter what my results will be for my Prelim, how bad it is, I will treat it as a wake up call for myself.

Vanessa Quek! You've got to wake up le! Stop being a lazy bum anymore!

It was like so wth, the chinese character thing which I've downloaded, I think I pressed on something, I could not type emails to linan mama le! man. ]=

"A time to play, A time to study..."

I'm so tired. I've been complaining how tired I am within me. hahas. I know my friends were tired too. Because of the History paper. The SEQ came out Stalin, Hitler and World War 2. World war 2 is the easiest but yet, I dont know how to do the part b question. So, I did my Stalin Question. I'm only confident in my first part. SBQ! Killer man. When I saw the photos I was like wth. What should I write about it man. I was quite regretful because after doing the first question, I was daydreaming. I daydreamed from 9.25am to 9.40am. I can do finish the paper de! hahas. But I wasted it. Fine. hahas. I'm dumb. But, O lvl I cant do that anymore!

After paper, we went to library studying! Actually I didnt study much. Pris was reading an Atrology Book. Libra sign, it said that my God is logic! Yea! My God is logic. wohoo. Amen! [=
We went to play basketball after that at about 1plus. Was rather tired so I'm tired to run about. hahas.

"Looking back down the memory lane, curtains of memories were drawn back, I saw the old me. I was being stuborn. My stuborn-ness for the love held for you made me look foolish. I looked like a complete idiot. But I know it's worth it. The days were awful, it was like seeing things from a stained glass where reality surfaces day after day, hours after hours, minutes after minutes and seconds after seconds. But yet, no matter how awful that time that I had once lived in, was over. Because I've been telling myself moments after moments that things will turn well, the sun will still shine brightly tmr and everything will be like what it was used to be. I've learnt to let go, not holding on to things so strongly as before. If I wanted myself to rely on others, I will learnt to let go of them first, so it will not hurt so much when they leave me..."

Emaths Paper 1 was finally over today. So it's one paper down. It's ok. I could do it. I think I could pass. I think. I'm sitting on the twelveth row. It was in the centre of the hall, I think. It was hot! Hot like crazy. I'm lucky that I brought my tissue paper in, or else I think I will die in there. I used like three pieces of it.

After the Paper, I felt relieved but yet, felt stress again cause thinking that there's still tonnes of History to remember, I feel so sian already. hahas. Now, I'm still studying on Cold War and Korean War and there's still Cuba Crisis, Topics under Germany! That's a lot. I think I cant slp tonight le. hahas. That's the consequences of last minute studying. hahas.
After the Paper, it was 9.45am. We waited with Pris for her next paper, Geography. I'm so thank God that we only have one paper for every single day till the last day of the Prelims. wohoo. Tmr is History and also, Linan mama will be leaving. ]= I will do my best! Will not disappoint her. [=

I shall go study my History and also, get prepare for tmr's battle! [= Jiayou to all my friends! [=

"Think it was a moment of folly... or maybe it's not?"

eeeeks! I'm damn vex now. Partly because tomorrow is Emaths Prelim and I didnt really study for it. And also, there's other problems. I'm not in the mood to do anything now. After reading LiNan mama's email, I felt sad. Because knowing the fact that she's leaving soon, really made me feel sad. Think I'm gonna be sad on tuesday.
There's also something which I dont wanna post up here. I also dont think that there's a need to tell anyone about this thing. They might think I'm childish or whatever.
I'm gonna start studying tmr. I will make Linan mama proud and my parents and God too! [=

I was blog hopping and I came upon Jade's livejournal. Indeed, I will always felt a sense of belonging whenever I read her livejournal. Through her livejournal, I will always learn things which no one could taught me. It was as if God is teaching me through her livejournal.
In her livejournal, it was mentioned that "If we want to see a rainbow, we have to face the rain first and if we want to see victory, we have to face obstacles and troubles."
Hence, after reading this, I was inspired. Taking examinations for example, if we want to see flying colours grades, we should face the books and to battle ourselves, to puff up our motivation to study. Even though there are times when we felt that time is running out and we have no time, but, as long as we do our best and study as much as possible, to catch up for lost time, we can see victory. We can. Those "I cant do it", "I'm so gonna flunk" etc, are just thoughts and lies put by the father of lies, Satan. There is no truth in him. Nothing but lies. So, when we thought that we cant do it, we can do it, it is up to us to believe.

I believe that I can do it! God will give me the motivation to study, God will help me along the way. I believe God will help each and everyone, whether you are a believer or not, you are God's creation. He is there for you. Whenever I face trouble or problems, I will seek God's help. Because if we pray, we will find a sense of comfort and whenever we say "amen", there's always a smile plastered on our face. Because by leaning on God, we can find comfort.

Yeah! I found back my motivation to study and to strive hard for my Prelims and O's! Yeah! Thank God! Amen! [[=

Labels: I Love you God

I'm addicted to both blogging and the typing of Chinese Character thing. hahas. So, I wanna have a Chinese post today! wohoo. I think I'm gonna write tonnes of craps, so... here goes!

啦啦啦...
李楠妈妈，你要快点回来哦! 带我的宝贝弟弟回来也是。哈哈哈。

toldja I will be writing strange things. hahahah
Anyways, when I was eating the Earthquake icecream yesterday, I told Jiejie that I'm a happy girl. hahaha.

回憶起我們走過的點點滴滴﹐回憶起我為你流過的眼淚﹐想起你給我的愛與關懷。我哭了。了望著你房间的窗口，回忆与伤感流进我的脑海里。热泪流了下来。

我很困惑，当初分手的时候是不是真的因为没时间才和彼此说再见。是不是真的对我已经没有感觉了还是因为别的理由? 我不懂。

现在我只想祝福你，希望你快乐。



你要快乐哦...

Yawns... I didnt study much today. I managed to memorise the Chemical Analysis thing. I had decided to study electrolysis tmr. I will study Physics later on and E-Maths later.

I'm so sad man. The Chinese Character which I had downloaded yesterday was gone. Man. Gone just like that. Sheese.

My feet were burnt. Because yesterday I took off my slippers to play under the scorching sun. The ground was hot and my feet were burnt. [[=
hahas.

I had been slacking since yesterday. My study motivation was gone. Gone le. Man. ]=

Sometimes, somethings were just beyond my control. I can think of some things without controlling it. My emotions too. I didnt mean to treat you coldly. I dont know why. When I see you, when I heard your voice or anything, I will tend to react strangely. I dont like others to say about us. That was when I started to dont like you. I will try to stop reacting like this. Just give me time...

"It's all my fault ya?"

Today morning, I met up with Cherie at 8.15am in the morning, I thought I will be the one later than her but, I'm the early one. hahas. Then, as usual, we sneak in, afraid of being caught by the OM of the sch. hahas. I didnt study. hahas. I'm not a morning person, so, I cant get my study mood on in the morning. I went to talk with Vivian awhile and Ms Chiam came. I miss her. hahs. I went to GB for awhile and went for English lesson. My mock, I've got 37/60 for Paper 1. I think, 18/30 for the first section and 19/30 for the second section. This is the first time I've got 18 for section one. I'm always getting the borderline pass. 15 or below. Mdm Saleha told me to aim for a 50. I was like, stunned. A1. I've got like only B4 for now. To jump three grades, it's like impossible for me. hahas. Must go find my English tutor again. hahahas.
Went to find Jieni who is teaching the Sec1s drill. Was really pleased that Sec1s and 2s' drill were good. sheese. The Sec2s are prepared for DS 1! hahas. Jiayou! After DS 1, there's like 2 more. Jiayou!

Study till like 2plus, head to TM Swenses. It was fun. I think our table is the noisest though. hahas. Jiang LaoShi went to foot the bill secretly but we managed to pay her back. hahas. Went to play basketball! wohoo! On the way, something happen. Louis was jumping over something tall and I heard some sound, whick I thought it was his skinnies snapping but to my horror, it's his skin that was split open! man, that sight was horrible. The sound and the blood trickling. I'm gonna have nightmare tonight! My beloved Biantai M, shermeen jiejie played a match with us. wohoo! Yay! She's the cutest laa. [[= sheese. Cute jiejie. [[=
saw Yirong and Sharon was there shouting "Xia zi xia zi!" hahahs.
My shooting was damn damn bad. I cant shoot, I cant dribble the ball well. I cant even successfully bring the ball up the hoop. I think I'm gonna buck up on my basketball skill. It was like damn fustrating when I see that the ball was off the hoop without successfully scoring.

Anyways, LiNan mama! I will miss you de! You must faster come back! Faster come back with my baby brother! [[=

Labels: A Game of Shooting Hoops on 5Sept'08

I didnt go sch mug today, was rather sorry to Cherie. Sorry Jie!
Sms-ed her last night at abt 12.58am, if I'm not wrong, to tell her that I am not feeling rather well and will skip today's study at sch and at Mac. Sorry Evon and Cherie!

Well, I had been awake twice last night. My block nose was worst. I could not breathe. I woke up at 4 plus in the morning and tried many ways to keep my block nose away. I off the fan and cover blankets over me and it was of no use.

I think I will be focusing on my Physics today and tmr, Chem, I had only left with 3 more chapters to go.[[=
Then, Emaths and History.
I shall go study now.[[=

"Holidays... The worst days of my life..."

I slept early last night, 10pm. I'm sick. It was the torturous sore throat that was killing me. I was crying last night because I cant get to bed because it's agonizing. Since young, I'm a kid who will have sore throat very easily because there's a lump of something at the entrance of my throat. Dad had been telling me to go for an operation to get it out, but since it's not troubling me, I think it's ok.
I'm going to bed after blogging though. My head is heavy and my cold is back. Throat doesnt feel that sore anymore.

Anyways, these few days had been books and more books. I had been reporting to sch almost everyday, monday, tuesday, wednesday. Today manage to see LiNan mama. [[= I miss her. She will be reaching airport at 4am on Tuesday. I really hope to be able to send her off but, I dont think I could go. I had almost finish revising Chem and tmr, I'm starting on Physics.
Today was horrible, in the sense that I could not breathe normally when I woke up, when I went to sch and of course in KFC and tuition. It's agonizing and I dont want to be sick anymore. I shall take care of myself. [[=

Damn, cant take it anymore. Byes.

"I'm sick. Cold cold, go away."

Today, went study with Cherie. hahas. We were like playing hide and seek with the OM tan. Cause we wore slippers to school. We were like study and I still didnt manage to hit my aim!
Therefore, I think that this few days I will not want to use the computer anymore. I'd been a good girl, I had been studying and studying. But I've neglected the rest of my subjects, I had been studying Chemistry these few days.

My sore throat is back. I bought the wrong type of strepsils! The honey lemon one is effective but unpleasant to eat and the orange one is nice but not effective. So, telling all sore throat sufferers, buy the honey lemon one, that is more effective. My throat is as though on fire, it hurts a lot. I'd been gulping bottles and bottles of water but yet to no avail. It still hurt like hell.
Just pray that God will ease the pain in my throat. Thank God. Amen. [[=

"Maybe deep down in my heart, I'd not put you down..."

I cant get to bed because once I shut my eyes, things and questions kept on flooding into my mind.
I like my life now. I'm glad that God had made things possible for me. But now, I just wish for time to froze. I love how God had put me in 3e4'07 and 4e4'08. We had went through thick and thins together and the time spend, the truant played, the everything and anything. Now that it's time to say goodbye, it's really is goodbye. I dont know what will happen after we bid goodbye.

To my cliques, it is like not the same anymore. After biding goodbye, we no longer see each other every single weekdays, or sometimes, on Saturdays. The feelings will be like not realistic anymore, it's more of living everyday of carrying each other's impression was depended on memories. After biding goodbye, we no longer could have the time to play, to joke, to do everything together. I'm really scared that the kind of things will happen. It's like few months after we say goodbye, we still stay in contact with each other but after a while, we are all busy with our new school life, busy with this and that and soon, forgotten that we have friends way back in secondary. But, since goodbyes are inevitable, we should live the life as it is now. We still have each other's support.
Even though now is just the starting of the one week holiday, I'm already missing them.
I miss my Shermeen jiejie, Jade WangWang, KaiLin Alien, Evon Monster, Cherie Creature, KaiWei JieJie, Sharon BaoBei, WeiLing, JiaWei, JieNi, Priscilia Laogong, Eunice sister, GB 56th. (orders are not in sequence) I miss them. But no matter what fate has in store for us, I'm glad that God had made me know each and everyone of you. [[=

In Junyuan, the first two years were like crap. Those memories were vague. I think they are dull. But the two years at the back were awesome! I've know my clique, make many groups out of it. I've got BianTai, ExtraOrdinary Family, Beep Beep Family, Hollow-brain family so on and so forth. I've never thought of making friends with guys, seriously. Never thought of being friends with guys and even if being friends, we were just acquaintance. But, maybe because I'm a GB girl, that I've make friends with the BB boys, not all are close friends. But just that I am glad to know them. They are funny, they can be fun and serious. That's why I like being with them. They can make you laugh till you roll on the floor, they also could be so serious till you will listen to their commands. I'm happy to have found a didi in there, found a laogong gong in there. hahas.
Anyways, to my dearest didi, dont keep saying yourself useless. Dont hate yourself too. God had place you in this world because He knows that you are of good use. God doesnt anyhow place any Tom, Dick or Harry in this world. God puts everyone in this world for a purpose. It cant be wrong, He knows you before you are in your mother's womb. Because He is the one who created you. You are not a mistake in this world. Everyone is not here in this world by mistake. Everyone is here in this world for a purpose. Well, maybe you dont sense it yet, but one day, one day, you will know your purpose in life. I believe. I know that you will not be seeing this but I just hope that you will understand that, you are never useless. You bring joy to my life though. hahas. Thanks my dear DiDi. [[=
Laogong gong, Thanks for the jokes and everything you had told me. Even though there's time which I'm being irritating but yet, you never once told me I am, but I know you always say I'm crazy which I'm not. hahas. Anyways, really thank you for the past few months of fun I had and indeed, I've learnt a lot of things from you. Thanks for being my English tutor for the past few months. hahas. I dont know if my English got improve not but just wanna thank you. [[=
To Someone, even though nowadays we seldom talk but still, you manage to break the awkwardness we once held. Really thank you for trying. I know it's tough to get over this kind of thing and I admit that sometimes I still could not get over the fact that the thing is over. Or it had not even started sometimes I do wonder. But thanks for the many things you had told me. The fact that I had accepted Christ is partly because of you, you told me about Christ, it was after I've known you that I started to take interest and take note of God, really thank you for introducing me to Christ, now that I'm leading a fruitful life, its partly because of you, thank you. [[=

I had been crapping though. hahas. Anyways, sorry for the long post. hahas. Byes peepo. Gonna go bed now. It's kinda late now. hahahahs.

Actually there's things I wanted to tell a lot of people but I dont wanna post them up here. Maybe you can come find me so I can tell you what I wanna tell you. But today, gonna say something to my beloved 4e4.




Today, meet up with Cherie, Sharon, Evon, HuiJi and Min Ning to go studying at Cherie's house. They were having fun on the Msn, playing pranks at people. hahas. While Cherie and me were looking at each other and laughing at them. hahas.

After that, went to have a few games of basketball! hahas. Have a good sweat and went home. [[=

Tmr going back to school and find Mr.Ivan Tan and study. I hope I could finish studying everything by next week as I had planned. I really wanna score well for my Prelims. Really. [[=

JiaYou!

"I don't dare to say I'm jealous because I knew what the result might be."

Putting GOD first in my life. Love God. Love Life. Love Others. Heart Of God Church! <3

Hello,
I am Vanessa Quek!


I blog to pen down my thoughts and also to remember the important milestones in my life!

I'm someone who has faith in God and the God within me!

I'm working hard to be in likeness to Christ! Be radical for Him! Giving Him the best years of my life!

HOGC

Interested in Korean culture and their, K-pop

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