»Miracles, yes, it happens
Friday, February 25, 2011
First paper for the Main Exam and I'm all set for it! Why? Because I experience something which I had never felt for quite some time.It's Miracle. (:
Some people may not believe it but I truly believes in it. Well, my calculator was not in sight for 3 weeks already and I thought it was lost. So I'm using my little brother's. Quite not use to it but I have no choice. I was praying that the battery will not die on me and that the calculator itself will not fail me. Then there's this thought that invades my mind. "Search the Adidas Bag". I reached into my Adidas bag and there it was! My calculator is found! Whees! hahaha. =D
So happy. hehe. =D
Alrights, shall study AM and not procrastinate any longer. (:
I yearn for love. Yearn to fall in love with someone. But I guess, I'm not matured enough to experience such thing.
words spilled @ 11:31 PM /
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»Guess because it's the last exam
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Guess because it's the last exam of my Poly life, that's why the feeling is so different. There's 5 papers to study for. Yet I'm only at the 2nd one. To memorise one subject is already so difficult. To memorise for 5, I think I will end up being a retard. haha! =PI somehow wish examinations to be finish soon but yet don't want it to. Because after Main exam, it will be time for SIP then back to Sem3.2 then end of Poly life. =/
Hmmms. Sometimes, reality just keep showing us that we have to keep growing up.
I'm praying hard to Father that I could finish studying all 5 subjects before the each individual examination date. Next Monday will be a huge relief because it's the day where the 2 killer subjects are held and tested. I guess I will end up mixing the both subjects up. haha! BCM and AM. Wish us all luck.
Because I truly believe in this phase, "I reap what I sow."
Everyone jiayou! Mug real hard! =D
words spilled @ 11:39 PM /
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»Revitalized Feeling
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I'm back! Teehee. Can't imagine I'm going through such a low period lately. But now, after days of praying and holding on to the faith, I'm back! heee.
One word to describe this, "Amen!" haha.
Alrighty, was quite productive today I guess but I still think I could do even more! 3 more chapters to end FMF and I shall continue tomorrow!
Tmr onwards, it's Happy Mugging Week! Shall camp in Library to get everything done! If only I'm that serious since Sem1.1. Then my results won't keep dropping. But, all is not too late as yet! I'm starting to work hard this Semester! (:
Planned out my routine for the week. Hope I'm sticking to it! A healthy lifestyle equals a Happy me! hehe. Hopefully this week will be productive!
I don't wish to be the best but I just hope I will do my best! (:
Alrights! Time for bed. Rule number 1 for healthy lifestyle, I shall sleep at 11.30pm every night from today onwards! (:
words spilled @ 11:14 PM /
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»For better or worse
Saturday, February 19, 2011
At least today is somehow better than yesterday. I guess the jog is taking effect starting from today. Met Jami sister in the morning for breakfast. She passed me her invitation card. She said it was very cheap because they did it on their own. She say she can teach me when I'm getting married next time. But I guess it's going to be a long wait. haha.
Hmmmms. Started studying already. Had already planned out what I want to study. Hopefully, I will stick to it. And hopefully times allows me to have room for more revisions.
After the examination, I'm going to be a third year student in TP. Time really flies. I'm entering the third and final year in poly. Guess there's how life is going to be. Embarking on a brand new journey every now and then. But I know that, in all these changes, God is always there. And I am very grateful for this. And I had been holding on to Father for better or for worse.
I guess, I needed time to adjust and adapt. To give myself time to stop thinking of you... Or not.
words spilled @ 8:27 PM /
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»Putting on my jogging shoes
Friday, February 18, 2011
Went home today with a heavy heart.
All my thoughts just keep rushing and rushing. I had the impulse of going for a jog. I reached home, put down my bag, changed and put on my pair of Nike. With the music blasting, I hit for the track that I'm going to jog. I run and run and run. I thought everything will be gone if I run. There's moment when I concentrate on the music but there's moment when those thoughts just keep coming back.
My problem. Though I want to believe there's nothing but who can predict human feelings? Even if you guarantee yours, what about his? I'm not trying to fool anyone. Nor do I want to fool myself. Reached home, looked out of the window. All those tears returned. Things ain't that easy.
Tonight, I don't want to wet my pillows again. I'm refraining myself from thinking about those things anymore. Whatever will be, will be.
Things are so simple in the past, now, nothing seems so simple anymore.
For my previous crush, it's like this. Now, it's like this again. Why is it always you?
words spilled @ 10:55 PM /
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»Thought it through
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I had been complaining to myself and to God that life's been a bitch lately. Hmmms. Cannot really imagined myself saying this but it just so sucky that I had to mention that word. I'm trying so hard to fit in, to remain as the as-long-as-i-remain-positive-everything-will-be-alright feeling, I just can't do it. Everything just collapse yesterday.
I know I shouldn't say this but I just had to. I was even thinking of choosing love over friendship. I even thought that, next time, if I am to like someone, I don't want him to be someone my friends knows. I just cannot take in the fact that he's closer to my friend than me. I felt sad with the closeness and everything.
But then, God revealed to me and indirectly showed me that, I am being a selfish jerk. =/
I should never choose love over friendship.
I prayed hard and long last night, with tears welling on my eyes. My heart shattered in so many pieces that it can't seems to be able to be fixed back. Woke up in the morning, nothing changes but thoughts changes. The world keep going on, I should not be trapped too.
I end myself up in this mess so I should clean it up myself. Everything is just a make believe, something that I thought in my mind. Everything is fake but I always thought it as something so real. I'm just making things up in my mind. I'm such a fool.
It's my last straw. Between giving up and seeing how much more I can handle.
I am going to commit everything unto God's Hand because only He can see so much. He plans my life. Everything will be alright. Father, thank you. (:
I had thought it through. Everything will be alright.
words spilled @ 9:45 PM /
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»One of those days
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hmmms. Am so tired now but will do a quick post before going to bed.
Today ain't a good day. So many realisations. It's one of those days. Feeling ever so down.
Hopefully when I wake up tmr, everything will change for the better.
"Being sensitive to my own feelings, is equals to being insensitive to the feelings of others. If that's the case, I would rather be insensitive towards my feelings..."
I will change, I will be a better person, I promise.
words spilled @ 12:07 AM /
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»Because I know that, goodbyes are inevitable
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Hmmmms. Well, I felt kind of lost now. Year3s are having their last days this week already and I can't help but felt sad about it. Though it's just a brief 1 year plus that we had met, but they are definitely missed by me. I hope they will continue to work towards their goals as they depart from here. Can't believe it, my turn is coming and that is next year. I wonder how I will be feeling one year from now. haha.
Hmmmms. Felt kind of drained and sad that year3s are not going to be here anymore. Like what uncle say, "time to grow up and be independent already. Cannot everything rely on him." I understand uncle, just felt sad that you're not going to be here anymore. I used to be so carefree, working under your instructions always and now, I am to take up the responsibility. Not that I don't like it but just that, I felt the pressure. I will do my best, I had promised you and I will fulfill this promise.
Next week will be study week already. Hopefully I can do well in the Main Exam and pull my grades up. Hopefully this semester's efforts can be paid off! =D
Just hope that I could spend more time with you. But when I came to realise it, you are going already. I tried to cherish every moment. I did my best to seize every opportunities but then, time just goes by so fast when I'm with you. Wanted to tell you just how I felt but I know that, now is not the time. Maybe that time will never come but at least, you're someone. Someone really good and I really wanted. =(
All the promises we had now, might not be fulfilled because who knows, you might change, I might change. But I hope we will both uphold the promise we held for one another. Father. Help me. =/
words spilled @ 1:32 AM /
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»Before I head off to bed...
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
CNY is around the corner but am not celebrating it this year. Will be just going to grandma house only.
I think I will prefer this year's new year. A quiet one and relaxing too. Not much visiting to do.
I can also use this time to study for my upcoming Main Exams and also, prepare for the upcoming 2 presentations. (:
AM presentation went by quite smoothly today. Whees!
I think I should go to sleep now. 8am class tomorrow. (:
words spilled @ 12:51 AM /
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