I'm satisfied with myself today. yups, super satisfied. [= I studied SS, theme 1 chapter3, Chemistry's energy from chemicals, done my history homework and amaths homework, not done yet because i dont know how to do. Now studying for tmr's chem test, Organic chem and Moles. [=

I gonna quit my Physics tuition and was deciding abt it yesterday therefore was a bit sad. I dont know if i could cope with it, i dont know. I had been thinking, whether had i choosen the right path to continue taking pure sciences. I should have drop long time ago because my IQ was very low. I'm dumb. I'm plain stupid. But there's a Chinese Proverbs which said "sha ren you sha fu". Will i have the luck? I dont know. [=
Anyways, I simply love sayangs. [= teehee. I love the feeling of being doted because i knew that i am being cared by someone but I'm afraid that i am being too irritating. I hope i am not being an irritant.

Not able to go to church today. Because i went there twice for this month but i dont know if my parents really meant it that i could only go for twice, i think they will let me go more than twice if i asked, nicely. {= hahas.

Tomorrow is monday, another beginning of a new week, hope that everything's perfect and yup, my hopes will come true. [=

Today i slept all the way to 12.45pm. hahas. I was really tired and the weeks tiredness all went to today's sleep. I'm refreshed. But i didnt let my weekend gone to vain. I studied. I managed to study 3 chapters of Physics. There's still a lot i need to study. But i will continue to jiayou de. My friends too! jiayou! [= This is the final lap of the race, give in our best shot ya? [=

Gonna do something tagged by pris. [=

1. What do you think of the world we're living in now?
It's a world full of changes and it's challenging because to keep things in its original state is difficult

2. Who is or/are more important to you? friends or bf?
I don't have bf now, therefore friends are important to me. Having someone to tell my problems to, that person is important to me too.

3. Who are the people you trust the most?
God. The one i tell my problems to is the one i trust too. [=

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
I don't think so.

5. What do you think of yourself?
I'm a girl, a super ordinary girl. aint pretty aint smart.

6. What is your goal for this year?
Good results.

7. Do you believe in eternal love?
Yups, definitely. God's love for us is for eternal.

8. What feeling do you love the most?
Being happy, being doted by someone whom i love.

9. What are the requirement of your other half?
Tall, humorous, dote on me, as long as i like him, everything's perfect. [=

10. List the best moments in your life.
Accepting Christ, being with someone even though we are not together already, found someone whom i could get my sayangs from. [= having a BianTai basketball team, having my GB family and also, Extraordinary Fam. [=

11. What do you hate most?
I hate having negative feelings, I will learnt to not hate anyone or anything because by hating people, i am hating God's creations and by hating God's creations, I am hating God. I dont hate God.

12. Between love and money?
Love! [=

Added: 13. Do you believe in Friends Forever?
I think there's cases of friends being together forever, there's nothing impossible in this world, so i think i believe in friends forever. [=

14. Describe the person who tagged you using 5 words.
She's smart, pretty, emotional, crazy and somehow random. [=

15. Who can i not live without?
God.

16. If you had 1 wish now, what would you wish for?
All my friends and family to accept Christ.

17. What do you want most for your birthday?
I dont need material things, all i need is just to be with someone i love. [=

18. What's your definition of love?
I think that love is to be with someone whom you love and love makes someone happy and everyday's valentine day. [=

19. do you believe in dreams come true?
Yups. Pray and you will have your dreams come true. It did happen to me a lot of time. [=

20. what kind of life do you want after you complete your education?
Carefree and also, stressfree.

Removed: Qn 13
Instructions: Remove 1 ques from above and add in your personal ques. Make a total of 20 ques and tag 8 ppl. List them out at the end of your post. Notify them in your cbox! Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all the lucky 8.

I'm gonna tag:
If you wanna do, feel free to do! I hope everyone can do it. [=

I had managed to finish reading the "23Minutes in Hell" book. I believe there's Hell exist. It is somewhere in the center of the Earth. After reading the book, i suddenly had the urge to tell all my friends to accept Christ!
Hell is a place full of torment and pain.The demons can put you on the pole and rip off you skin and you will see your bones! Also, if you went to Hell, you are not staying there for just a while. It's FOREVER!
Only by accepting Christ as your Saviour, you will be away from that torturing place! I realy dont want to see my friends in Hell, suffering.

Ok, Today was a half half day. Why half? Well, the beginning of the day was a happy day. I had another family! It's called the EOF. (Extraordinary Family). Kailin is Alien, Evon is Monster, Cherie is Creature. I am Freak! [= So cool, not only am i a BianTai-ians but also a Freak! [=

Next half day was bad. Was provoked by the GG(s). Mr Feraj had already said that GB and GG will be facing each other but when i tell them to move, none move an inch. They even show attitude somemore. I know that I'm not a GG head or whatever but they seriously need to check on their attitude.
Thinking of something on the way home.

"Ihadcametorealisedthatiamjustanothingtoyou.iftheresothergirls,youwouldprobablychoosethemoverme.eventhoughyoutoldmesweetthings,
iamhappyandreallyfelthappy,butyouractionsweredifferentthenwearechatting.amithinkingtoomuch?ijustlikeyou."

Hey peepo. I am so glad that i managed to refrain myself from using the com yesterday. It had been a busy day or week for me. I doubt i will be able to use the computer so often. Think i will be using the com only on fridays and weekends.
Everyday, immediately after school, if i have no remedial or anything, i will go home, to study. I dont wanna to end up sleeping and had not finished studying. Time is running up soon and i will treasure every moment.

Okays, Monday, Had nothing special.
Tuesday, school's 10th anniversary rehearsal and i went there to support my juniors. I hope on that actual day, they will be able to withstand stnading for very long. jiayou!
Wednesday, I sprained my right leg while playing. I suppose it was a bit swollen. But i will let it heal on its own.
Thursday, Eng Prelim oral. I did badly, scored a 26/40. I was stammering, even though the invigilator was my sec1 literature teacher, mrs shankar. I was nervous, seriously nervous.

There's 2 tests held tmr. Emaths and Physics.

Finally, i have some sort of sort out my life. I know what to do for QT and I learnt a lot of things. I will study everyday. Everyday. Will take care of my health and my friends' health.

Basketball, played it in my dreams. [=

"You are all that matters to me."

Today is tuesday, wednesday will come and so is thursday, then friday. Time flies so fast and there's only like 4months left in school and 3months left for the O's. I dont really liked poly life as i really dont know how to mix around with friends or anything. There was one time when i went to study alone and the poly students were there and i had a feeling, i dreaded that life. Secondary school is the best where i have my friends and family. Will we still be lifetime friends? Will we still remember each other after graduation? Will the ones which we were once closed with still remember me? Will we still stay in contact with one another after graduation? What will happen? Will life change totally? Will BianTai still exist? Questions were flowing through my mind and i felt like crying laaa.. *sayangs for myself*

I was reading a book lent to me by Jade, it's called the "23minutes in Hell", this book taught me a lot. It taught me how to treasure life and everything. It also taught me about God's greatness and I should be faithful to Him and grow closer to Him as a Child Of God.

I had started studying but everytime when i came home, i will felt very tired but i managed to force myself to study. [=

"So what if i had said the magic words. You will not understand."

hey peepo. Today's church was fun. Learn new things and yea, i'm tired. even though i had only read my ss and nothing else. I'm bored and i need ppl to talk to and most of all, i'm alone at home today, i didnt go my grandma hse because i'm tired and yea. I'm tired to go out and buy dinner so i settled my dinner with this cupnoodle i came upon in the cupboard. [=
It was not the flavour which i like, it's chicken mushroom? the bad thing about it is that it contain too much mushrooms and weird stuffs. I prefer others. [= Anyways, settle dinner in a haste after cleaning up my BaoBao's cage. [=
I hope he's happy with the new formation i came up with. Even though it's a bit cramp. opps. But i hope he could be happy with it. I knew that he's lonely. But, no worries, i will buy a bigger cage for you and hope to buy a partner for you, if i could. BaoBao, my precious, BeiBei too.

Anyways, I'm not sick, yea. and i'm fit! [=

"Gone..."

Hiya peepo. I am bored and therefore decided to left a sidenote on the right hand side of my blog, an introduction of BianTai. As you can see, it's not complete yet, so I hope to be able to know your favourite colour and favourite number. And and, if you wanna join, feel free to contact BianTai M or BianTai P. Join us! [= Nike's logo is "Just Do It", ours, "Be Stunned!" cool uh? hahas. [=

Anyways, I think I'm sick, I woke up with a major headache, and went mugging with BT-C. I had a major flu at KFC even though today's aircon was warm. It was as though it was not on, but i'm glad. [=
I studied SS, but it was too much, I didnt manage to finish it. was about to go home when it started raining! It was getting heavier and heavier. Cherie and me went around looking for biscuits which we could bring to school. We found a shop with many mickey mouse things and also things which were cheap. [=
Okays, gonna stop here, I'm down with basketball illness. I miss basketball! ]=

I'm back to blog. Actually had nothing to do so therefore came in and blog. [=
Today was almost late for school and luckily i went in to school in time! in time! hahas.
Mother tongue lesson was quite ok but its a bit boring though. Physics was really a hard time to spend. Three periods, sitting on the chair till my butts hurt! hahas. I'm glad that time was not so slow as i had expected. Recess was awesome! I had always love recess on friday because it was the time when we are the only class that had recess. It was so cool laa! hahas. [=
Emaths, had a trigo test and i think i could pass but, i wonder if i could pass with flying colours not. Must buck up! Jia You! [=

After school, chemistry supplementary classes. The school was unfair! Actually cant say unfair. Kailin say that we are pure science graduating class and there's like no teachers around to teach us. There's like a booklet for us to do and whether we understand a not is our business already. All the teachers like Mr Amos Ng, Ms Zaleha, Mrs Teo, all went to teach other classes. What about us? ]=
Physics, i was late! hahas. Anyways, it was boring laaa. [= I heard the drum beats for the national day rehearsal, my body was there in the classroom but my mind and heart had long flew there. I wanted to see my juniors. [=
Next tues! go disturb them. [= hahas.

Anyways, attitude is the thing that matters. Is it me or what, people are showing attitude laa. I showed too today, I was so upset that i really felt so.. forget it. Shall not care about it anymore le. I prayed already, ask God to let me not to complain everytime things happens. jiayou vanessa.
3ppl showed attitude laa. ]= three in one day. sadd. Stunned! [=

"Just a simple, I Love You."

Since last night, my mood took a change. I suddenly felt so so depressed. Maybe because olvl is coming and i could sense its coming and seriously i felt stress and felt myself really useless. I could not even do simple maths problems and seriously out of the 5 questions, i could do none. I flip and flip through the amaths textbk but nothing. I told myself that i will be fine and i should stay happy but the feelings getting stronger each time i told myself that. I cried when i walked home from school last night. I am sorry cherie that my attitude was bad. I didnt expect myself to be such a sucker. but yes i am. Sorry.
I told myself not to cry because by crying, i admit defeat. I am strong. I'm not weak. But yesterday night, before i went to bed, I am doing my daily night prayer and there's this illusion, a green face with a hatred or anger pair of eyes looking at me. I was very very scared. I almost cried but i didnt. Even till now, when i mentioned abt this, i feel like crying. I told Jade about it and she say that if this happens, i should speak in tongues but i dont know tongues and she said that this things will happen because satan will come attacking you when you are at the most vulnerable state. I am seriously very scared that this will keep happening whenever i close my eyes. Especially when seventh month is coming soon. I admit that i am not doing QT and i am slipping from God but i dont want these things to happen. I want to continue to grow in God. I dont want to have nothing in my life.
During tuition today, Simple Maths problems, i could not do again. I felt like crying and i really have nothing to say anymore. I seriously have no brains. No matter how much i studied, my brain just dont contain anything.
All i want now is just hope and pray that things will go back to the normal.

"I need your support. I need you by my side."

Today is GB day and also, Clarie's birthday! Happy birthday to you! [=

Anyways, i think i had hurt my left knee yesterday. When i went back home after mugging, my left knee just hurt so much and in the morning, when i woke up, it was so painful that i could not stand. My left knee was injured before and i think that its the old injury that was acting up again.
But i'm lucky that i could stand throughout the whole parade. Thank God. [=

"I want to know what are you thinking about..."

GB day is tmr and so is GB fortnight, so prepare money! Donate it to me!! hahas.
Heard that other schools are wearing Full Uni for the whole day, so we are lucky that we are not, I don't mind wearing the whole day but its hot. hahas.

Shall not blog so often as Olvl is in 99 more days, 3months and a week. ]=
I am not prepared for the Olvl. I am slacking all the day and shall regret when the results come out. ]=
But no way am i going to make that happen. Shall study while having fun.

"Yes, It's time to let go. The feelings.. gone... I shall treasure the one i love more and not to let history repeat again..."

Was blog hopping and saw Evon and Pris introducing themselves and i shall too. [=

Hiya everyone, I am BianTai V. I'm not a pervert, i'm a basketballer.
BianTai is my basketball team. I am a member of BianTai.
BianTai M is Shermeen, our manager. [=
Our team captain is BianTai P, Priscilia!
so, there's:
BianTai M(Shermeen)
BianTai P(Priscilia)
BianTai C(Cherie)
BianTai E(Evon)
BianTai H(HuiJi)
BianTai K(Kristel)
BianTai S(Sharon)
BianTai V(ME!)

We may not be good at playing basketball but we do it just for keeping fit and having fellowship with one another. Hope to have full 26 players. (which i think is a lot) [=
Now there's 8 of us and we had our team song and team cheer. We hang out together, be it studying or basketballing, we love one another. [=
So, BianTai forever! [=

ThreeCheers and ThreeCheers for BianTai! HipHipHorray! HipHipHorray! HipHipHorray! [=
BIANTAI basketball team![=

Labels: BianTai BasketballTeam is loved

Do you believe in friends forever? I remembered asking Jade and she said she believes it. she said we had godly friends. Even if we are dead, we will still meet each other in heaven and still continues to be friends.
I admit that i'm a sensitive girl. If there's a slight change of attitude, i will think that you dont like me even though it might not be true. But that's me. I love every single one of my friends. That's all i gonna say. Anyways, dont really felt good today.

Found another bian tai member today. Bian Tai K. She is none other than my baobeii, kristel.
Had a good chat with Pris today. Its a really good chat. Thanks pris! [=

To pris,
Pris, I'm sorry that i had hidden the truth from you for so long. I hope that you will be feeling better. You are the best! my heart aches when i saw your tears. Promise me not to cry anymore. okays? Thanks for the chat that i had with you today at cp. It's the first time i talked so much to anyone abt that thing. Thanks. It's like the things which i had been keeping in me had been release and i felt really better. Whether will i still continue waiting, i really dont know but i will take nature on its course. Thanks pris! With much love, Van. [=

"Maybe its time to let go..."

Rugby! I woke up in the morning to find that it was raining and i felt seriously disappointed as i really wanted to have pe and have a game of rugby! It was raining heavily but but! It stopped halfway! We had pe! we played on the muddy field! I took off my shoes! hahahas. The floor was cold yet comforting but my legs were dirty! hahahs. [=

Today's lesson was ok and wanted to apologise to some of my friends that my attitude today was sucky and i'm really sorry. So, ya, sorry.

Assembly was not good, some people from temasek poly's engineering sch came and i didnt hear what he was saying and i had find interest in being a waitress. I wanted to learn the course! [=

Went to TM with evon and sharon! I finally managed to take to new bus!! it was a great ride even though i was standing but i'm satisfied!! [= I want more more!
Was crapping at the Mac, and i heard something wrong which makes a joke of myself. =P

Anyways, GB rehearsal on friday and i'm skipping Chem remedial! [=

"I love you, you love me, we are one big family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, wont you say you love me too?" [=

Its sunday today and i went to church! muahaha! Finally i could go to church! [=
Today's songs were high and it was very nice. Sermon was quite ok although i yawned quite a number of time. opps. [=

After that, went for lunch with a grp of 14 ppl. 5 of which is the bb boys, weisian, leongwei, don, javern and calvin. the rest of us, me, jieni, kristel, jieying, yinting, jami, joseph, joshua and issac. We had ljs and there's like only a counter opened yet we queued the wrong one, which had no one serving and the queue was long. I went home with the 5boys, i didnt know that they are leaving until they say they sending me home. hahas. thanks guys. [=

Anyways, i slept at grandma hse, my head is spinning, my finger is hurting and ya, my mood was lousy again. i plunged into the lowest segment of my life once more. And, i miss BeiBei again. But must thanks BeiBei and God for blessing me. [=

I stood by the door, not too far in and not too near out. waiting for something to happen, waiting for you to notice you. waiting for a love...
"...想念的心 装满的都是你 我的钢琴 弹奏的都是你 我的日记 写满的都是你的名..."

I seriously love basketball and the next sport is rugby. These two sports seriously can build up teamworks and make the atmosphere high!

Anyways, today is the most hyper day as compared to the rest of the weekdays. I went for GB after school and they were going through Healthy Attitude 2. They are talking about the purpose of life and I said i wanted to do well for Olvl and be able to grow taller and Ms chiam said that we should not try to change ourself, cause God created us like that, no matter thin, fat, tall, short or anything, we should not complain or anything. Therefore, I promise not to think about growing tall! [= I'm happy with 163.7cm. Going through the GB day rehearsal and i noticed that JieNi and Pris indeed learnt to be more strict about the rules and regulations about everything that was to be done in every aspect of GB. Whereas me, I still remained the same, I think they deserved the PBB more than me. ]= But, I'm happy for them! [=

It was fun being the PC but it was just a rehearsal, if it was the actual day, it's not fun anymore. hahas. Anyways, I could not join the school's 10th anniversary! aww... hahas.

I had my dinner with my GB Fam! [= My dearest Pris Pris laogong, NiNi sister, Kris Baobeii, Clarie and Jasmine. [= We had a lot of fun talking and crapping. haha. If everyday was like this, it will be so great. [=

Went for nightstudy with evon and cherie, i was late! sorry! hahas. Anyways, was not in the mood to study and went off to play basketball with WeiSian, LeongWei and Javern and i admit, it was fun playing with them. hahas. Hope to play with them more more! [=

To Priscilia
My dear PrisPris, thanks for everything! Dont worry about not being able to get PBB! I know that you deserve it and God will bless you with it de! Jiayou jiayou! It's been a great fun to have you around! Let's jiayou and study hard hard together! Thanks for the hug that you gave me when i cried that day! Anyways, everything all sums up to one thing! I Love You! [=

To JieNi
My dear NiNi ah! I know that you had been reading my blog! Never tag! hahahs. Its been a great fun to have you around too! hahas. You too, deserve to be a PBB candidate! Must Jiayou, okaes? My friends said that you are very pretty and it was true, you are since the day 1 i met u! Continue to be the NiNi, always cheerful and pretty! I Love You!

There's more coming up! Dont worry if your name is not here! It will appear de because everyone of my friends impacted me a lot! [= I Love Them a lot! [=

Anyways, BaoBao reacted when i called him! [=

I totally screwed up my chinese oral. I thought i could maintain my calm but i couldnt. The teachers' face were like dont know what. It was as though i had killed their whole family. They dont smile back when i smile at them. I managed to smile throughout the whole oral as a form of respect. The passage was ok. I managed to read it without stammering and with some sort of fluency. There were some words which i had read wrong. Conversation part was about Youth Olympic. When the teacher was reading out the question, my heart aches. Miss Linan had given the worksheet and there was informations abt it in it. I felt like crying after i took the oral. I spoke too fast and everything. eeks!

I started to miss BeiBei and BaoBao too, was missing her. BaoBao was now lying on the slide again and i can sense that he's lonely and am missing BeiBei now. Every now and then i had been looking at BaoBao. Afraid that he will left like BeiBei without being able to play with him. I know he's feeling lonely and i will buy him a bigger and nicer equipment for him soon. I had promised BeiBei to take good care of BaoBao and i will. I didnt cry anymore. I no longer felt the bitterness when i mention about BeiBei. I dont like this feeling. I wanted to feel for BeiBei. I dont want to be so happy when she's just left me a few days ago. I had been visiting BeiBei's grave consecutively, but i didnt today. I'm sorry, BeiBei.

Everything seems to take a turn when sch reopens. The normal friendships which i once envied were gone. The friends which i had known had now turn into a very familiar stranger to me. I no longer knows what they are thinking. I know i'm not a good counselor. I'm not good at counseling people. But, I'm a good listener. They can come to me and pour out whatever unhappy things to me, they could even beat me up if they want. I'm willing to sacrifice anything for them. Just hope that they will treasure whatever they have now, cause we will not be seeing each other that often after we graduate. I know that some will be angry to see this and think that i have no rights to say all this things, but these were just my point of view. I had no bad motive. I'm tired to hold on to anything that's falling apart.

My dad said that i had changed. To be nonchalent about studies and had been going out. I can understand that what he worries about. My olvl. I'm worried too, he is not at home most of time during the day, he is always working. I went out is because i went to study. It is not that i didnt study, it is just that you didnt see it. There's like so many things weighing in my heart, I couldnt breathe anymore. I am trying my best to study and do well for tests but not everything i do is right in him. People of my age could go out and study with friends until after 6pm or in the night, I cant. whenever i'm late coming home, your lecture will be the next thing which i will be expecting. Anyways, whatever i do, is not right in your eyes.

What if one day i went bersek?

Okays, Just a short post. Didnt online today as there's like a lot of homeworks waiting for me but in fact, I only had to finish my Amaths questions and i'm done. I felt aimless without anything to support. I'm living each day without any instructions. Maybe i'm used to having timetables to rule my life. Hence, I decided to make a timetable for myself.
Basically, monday, wednesday, thursday will be my study days. Might be going to KFC after school.

Today's PE lesson rocks! Rugby! I'm addicted to it. But its kinda dangerous. My hand gt scratched by some unknown people. But still, basketball is still my priority sports.

Chinese Oral's tmr. I'm getting nervous every second.

Going GB this friday. [= I wanna do drill drill! [=

Anyways, I love my friends. Those who cheered my on and comforted me and talk with me every night without fail will make me laugh till nuts. [= Thanks!

I still misses BeiBei, BaoBao is always seen lying on the slide. I can sense that he misses BeiBei too. ]=
Shucks, I wanna cry again. ]=

I wonder How long the happiness will last...

Last night, I had told myself not to cry in school tmr because i dont want to attract attention. I had ppl comforting last night and i really felt better after that. Thank you Jade wang wang, Wei Sian and Cherie Jie. Thanks for your comfort. I really felt much better after that. Thank You.
I woke up at 5.30am and it was raining and i went to the living room and i looked down to the tree where my dear beibei was buried. My brother just put it in a KFC Whipped Potato Box. He felt guilty after that, he asked me, "Will BeiBei be happy with a KFC box as her coffin?" I cried. He said he had forgotten to put hays and some food in it. Those thoughts of him asking me questions came rushing into my mind, I cried and I started talking to BeiBei. I asked her, whether she was cold not. I know ppl might think that i am nuts or anything but, only by doing that, I will then felt better. BaoBao was in the cage. I dont know if he will miss BeiBei or not. I promise to take good care of him.
In the morning when i woke up, I was bathing and i cried again. My mum told me to take a $5 note in her purse so that i could have lunch but i dont want because i had enough, but she forced me to take it. I cried again. I walked to school with tears on my eyes. I dried my tears when i was at the school gate i didnt want to cry in front of my friends. But, when i went in, i looked at cherie and i felt bitter and i rushed to the toilet and i hugged Pris. I cried. My friends were shocked and i felt really weak when i cried in front of them. I had told myself umpteen times not to cry but i did. I wanted to thanks my friends for being there for me. Thanks Shermeen jiejie and Pris for the hug. Thank you.

On the way home, I went to the place where BeiBei was buried. I promise to go there whenever i walk home and walked past. I love you,BeiBei.

It was not the same anymore. I no longer could get your comforting words. You no longer cared about me. Maybe its time i should let go of you completely.

Putting GOD first in my life. Love God. Love Life. Love Others. Heart Of God Church! <3

Hello,
I am Vanessa Quek!


I blog to pen down my thoughts and also to remember the important milestones in my life!

I'm someone who has faith in God and the God within me!

I'm working hard to be in likeness to Christ! Be radical for Him! Giving Him the best years of my life!

HOGC

Interested in Korean culture and their, K-pop

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