But nonetheless, thanks to Sharon BB, I'm addicted to Kpop. You may not like the sound of it but my interest for it is building up.

After watching the Korean show, We Got Married, I find Korean culture fascinating. I'm determined to learn more about it! From scratch. I'm not going to be an expert but I will try. (:

It's 3am in the morning, I had just finished watching episode 21 of that show while doing the 'assignment' my little brother gave it to me. I felt bad doing his homework for him but find it tough for him to do it alone, struggling. haha. I offered my help but this will be the last time I'm doing it for him. haha! He needs to learn! haha.

Alright, some realization from the show. My reflection though.

Every time I finished watching one episode, I will be so envious about the life they could lead. It's like, the two of them are arranged to be a 'couple'. It's not a real thing, like 有名无实 kind of thing. Yet, the guy could show so much love for the girl. Though to put it in a way, it's like acting. But yet, I could somehow sense that they are like a real couple. Every time I closes the window, I will always want to have this kind of thing happening to me. But then I came to realise that, that and reality will never match.

Firstly, Korean guys are somehow different. They are more polite in a way. And the love that they show their girl will therefore be different.

Secondly, this kind of thing just won't happen. In my perspective now. haha. They are like living in their own world, pure and innocent. Just simple love. But to match up with the world we are living now, it's going to be different.

Thirdly, it's so cool to have brother-in-laws to respect their sister-in-law. haha!

Lastly, well, guess this is my thought about it. I prayed to God about this. Hoping that He will help me in it. It's that, I'm afraid of love. It's like a two sided thing. One side, I'm yearning for love, to have someone to care for me, etc. But then, if you flip the situation around, I have to realise that things ain't easy. I have to be responsible for the other person because it takes two hands to clap. And if things don't end well, it's just going to turn sour. And realising that, I had not really walk out of the past shadows that I recently gotten myself into, I find myself, unable to give as much love as compared.

I guess this is really not the time I guess. Especially when I don't know, what's the difference between liking someone and loving someone. All those fantasies, belong to another dimension. I should learn to adapt to be able to change from one dimension to another easily.

I really like this show a lot, especially Yonghwa. haha! But then, shows are just shows. I can't possibly find someone like him. haha! Unless I fly all the way to Korea and stay there. haha.
Well, I should really stop myself, and stop dwelling on them. haha. I had been very cautious about it. God says, not to idolize. I will not go to the stage whereby I worship them. A big no. The only person I will praise and worship will be my Heavenly Daddy, God. =D

Time for bed! Project meeting tmr. =P

Screwed. So screwed.

Actually I had known this show for quite some time already but didn't get to watch it but I started watching it today. I am at episode 5 now. It was addictive and sweet.

They started off as complete strangers, only get to know each other by watching television shows. Slowly, step by step, day by day, they get to know each other more. The awkwardness they used to feel seems to dissolve and they are starting to rely on each other. (:

Yonghwa is from CN Blue, a Korean boy band. Heard before but did not really take notice but then this show makes me widen my knowledge about them. I will work hard to do my 'homework' to know more about Korea. (:

As a child, I love reading love novels and till now, I still do. Watching people of opposite gender fall for each other. The chemistry, the bond, the way they look at each other just makes me go awwww. haha. And makes me wonder when will it be my turn. If I manage to find the one. haha.

I also always wonder, if everyone has the chance to date one another for a period of time. haha! How will things turn out to be. haha.

Oh well, I should stop daydreaming and get back to reality. God's love has already completed me. Though some times, I do yearn for somebody to fall for. haha! But nonetheless... (:

I believe it's God who had put us three tgt! Through thick and thin! Whees~

Went for lunch at Parkway Parade and after lunch, was suppose to go roller blading but it rained! So we went to Bugis instead to catch a movie. Watched Rapunzel. Nice movie, I should say. (:

Alrighty, I'm heading for the bed soon! (:

I want to buy a pair of white canvas shoes and paint them! (: Anyone wants to sponsor me the acrylic paints? heee. Or rather, anyone wants to release your creativity with me? heee. :D

OLA! My mood is starting to sore rocket high soon! (:

Had a Christmas dinner today with my fellow main comm precious. We used to feel awkward with the seniors but then, everything just gets better and better! (: But it's a really sad thing to think that, they will be graduating in a few months time. ='( But I'm not gonna think of it first! For now, we shall continue to bond more! (:

There's about 16 of us but too bad, Sarah, CJ, Kelly and Daryl are not able to make it so that's left with the 12 of us, including Mdm.Boey. (:

Had dinner at Kuishin Bo at Suntec. It's a Japanese buffet restaurant. The food there is not bad. Maybe one day you can try, eat till your content! Though the price is a little steep, ard $54 per pax but luckily, this dinner is treated by Club. hee. (:

With all the nice food and desserts placed before us, we eat till our fullest. haha! From 6.30pm all the way to 9pm. haha!

Afterwhich, we had an exchange present program. Mdm.Boey had gotten my present. heee. I had gotten Mabel's. heee. =D I love it. haha. =D Really. =D

After dinner, we are gathered outside to think of the next location to go. Sean bought a SNSD poster and I want! So I went over to the pushcart and saw lots of SNSD poster to choose from. I picked one and bought it. Great buy! $10! And it's quite big and it's now proudly hanging in my room! =D I'm a happy girl! *Skips around*

We went over by the Singapore river to take some photos. Thinking that it's too dark, we head into Esplanade. Uncle bought a set of Monopoly Deal while Terence bought Twister. haha! Twister game was fun but the attire makes it hard for us to move. haha.

Rush for the last train and home sweet home! heee.

Great Gathering and great dinner! (:

爱为何这样的讽刺

我忘了这是第几次

一见你就无法坚持

孤独比拥抱更真实

爱让人失去了理智

会不会是我太自私

拒绝更寂寞的日子

压抑已久的眼泪，找到了能抒发自己的轨道。流着流着，忘了自己在为了什么事情而掉眼泪。擦干眼泪，告诉自己，要更勇敢，要比以前更懂得珍惜自己。要找到一个你爱他，他也同样爱你的一个人，是需要上天的安排。时间能证明一切。

Christmas is coming and I love this season. (:

I wish one day I could have a white Christmas. In a cozy room, all snuggle up beside the fireplace and with a full length window, looking out, seeing the snow falls. And last but not least, with a cup of hot Milo! haha. Others might be drinking hot chocolate but I will do otherwise. hee. (:

Term Test is over. haha. I had never worked so hard for any papers since Poly started. This time round, I'm somehow serious about getting my grades together.

This 2 weeks holiday will be quite a happening one. With events and things packed and also with CHRISTMAS! haha. 2011 is coming.

Dear Santa,

For this Christmas, I hope I could sort out my thoughts about some things and I just want to find the way to be a better person. (:

I want KAKA' jersey! hahah. =D

A break finally. (:

I guess everyone's definition of love is different. Well, mine is, first thing I would thought of is God's unfailing love. (: Another word for it is unconditional love. Everyone knows the theory of it yet don't know how to practice it. Unconditional love is loving someone without wanting something in return. Well, only God could do this so well.

Love between humans. Can be family love, friendship love, plain simple love.

Hmmms. You might be wondering, why the sudden thought of wanting to talk about love. Well, I was watching the Channel U's movie just now named “等一等爱情”.

Need a little breather from my studying. haha!

Learnt a few quotes from there and found that it's quite meaningful and true. Something which speaks right into the core of me, I guess.

“我在雨中等你，在太阳底下等你。一直等一直等。一等再等。等到我不知道自己在等什么了。可能在等一个结果吧。。。”

“爱情就像德士。有时它等你。有时你等它。只要愿意等，一定会等到的。”

But then, if you keep waiting for the wrong one, it's just a waste of time. Oh well, who can fathom something so great like love...

Got to part from my lappy until Friday. Till then, I will study hard! (: Aim, increase GPA! Jiayou Jiayou! =D

Must study hard! =D

Christmas is coming! After watching Glee, I had the Christmas feel rushing within me! =D

I love Christmas! =D

I am home early today. Everyone's busy with something so I decided to head home.

3 years past. I wonder if I am keeping up with God's teachings. I want to be the best that I could to Him, to others and to myself. I wonder if I had did that. But I will still try my best. It's been awhile since I went to church but I will do that during my term break. Hopefully. (:

I'm caught in a dilemma. SIP. I'm trying to think of a good solution but I just can't think of any. People's feelings are concerned and I can't just treat it so easily. I can't make a choice right now cause every time I made a choice, it turns out that it might not work. 6 months or more to face that particular person. I must make a right choice. To both me and my partner.

I believe God will answer my prayers and I know I will never regret once my choice is made up. (:

For now, I must study hard for my Term Test because I must pull my GPA up again. Time to fight and work hard. Hwaiting! (:

I was browsing through some websites when I came upon Girls' Generation song, Dear Mom. After looking at the lyrics, I felt like there's something I owe my mom. That is the abundance of love. I missed going to the market with my mom. I miss eating with my mom. She's busy and I'm busy. Words exchange in a day is getting lesser and lesser. She's not feeling well yet I can't take good care of her. I failed my duty as a daughter.

I will make a different. I don't want to wait till Mother's Day then I make her day. I will do it every day. I want to let her feel as though everyday's a Mother's Day. (:

My dad too. I will fulfill my duty to love both of them. God teaches me to love. (:

I miss my grandmother. Both of them. Though one is not here anymore. But I still love her the same.

I want to dedicate this song, Dear Mom by Girls' Generation to all moms! (:

It's in Korean but I will put the English lyrics instead. (:

"For some reason, today feels so difficult and exhausting
I hold my pillow closer as I sit alone in my room
I fidget with my phone as my heart
For some reason feels empty today
The suddenly ringing phone surprises me
I hear your voice, asking me if I ate today
Although at times, they annoyed me, today those words feel different
And all the forgotten promises I've made come flooding back to me

I will become a warm hearted person
I will become a person that puts others first
I will fulfill the wishes of your love
The person who I share my dreams with
The one who used to comb my hair, I think of my mom

Although at times, I hurt you because of my wrong decisions
You quietly watched over me from afar
Although I'm still a young and clumsy child
I think I understand now
The meaning of your silent prayers

I will become a warm hearted person
I will become a person that puts others first
I will fulfill the wishes of your love
The person who I share my dreams with
The one who used to comb my hair, I think of my mom

What should I do? My heart is still so small
If I let go of your hand, I'm not sure if I can make it without you
I don't think I'm ready yet
And I'm scared

I will become a wise daughter
Give me courage
No matter where I go, I will be a daughter you can be proud of
I will fulfill the wishes of your love
With all the love that you have shown me
I will have a warm heart
I was too shy to express this to you clearly
Mom, I truly love you"

This week, pass by so quickly that I could not recall what I had done.

AM assignment is finally handed in. Away with this, I'm gonna take on BCM tmr. Hopefully I could finish it tmr. Which means I should stop my senseless slacking and procrastinating. =/

I should be grateful and thankful to God. After seeing Kent and Sean's arms, I felt so relieved that the nurse that had aided me for blood donation was professional enough that they didn't cause any irritations to my veins thus no bruises on my arms. Phew. (: Hopefully I will be lucky enough next time when I'm donating. (:

Just finished watching Glee and I loved especially the scene when New Directions is performing. Sam and Quinn as usual. My favorite. hee. =D

Had a superb day, had an awesome dinner. (:

Time for bed and hopefully I could wake up tmr for a jog. To boost my day. (:

I should take up other sports soon. To keep myself active. But jogging is still the best sports I've ever done. Apart from basketball. (:

It's always the beginning that is hard. But at the end of the day, what you received is something so beautiful. (:

I was about to give up donating blood last night. I was really shivering with fear. Thinking about the needles and the blood. Then, in the morning, I was there. Sitting at TP Auditorium, filling up my particulars. Then came the screening by doctor then followed by blood test. Reality set in when i was sitting at the donor chair. The nurse came and injected the painkiller. It hurts, it truly does. Then the blood donating process came. It's not as painful as getting the painkiller jab. There's no feeling. But i felt weird after seeing the blood. =/

Had a rest and I've gotten my purple bandage! hee. =D Evon fainted! Gave me the shock of the day. haha. Take care!

Then the day goes on. (:

I'm so tired. My eyes were on the verge of shutting. But this is the time when I should start rushing for my projects and assignments and quizzes and mini tests and many more. haha.

I feel like sleeping anytime from now. But yet, there's still OrgCom to be done. Afterwhich followed by studying of BCM. 7 more chapters to go! Wish me luck. =/

I guess I need a lot of luck tmr. Firstly, the two tests tmr. =/ Then is, I'm going for blood donation tmr! Hopefully I won't turn from the donor to become the donee. =/ haha.

I shall take my first step in overcoming my fear! I'm scared of pain, I'm scared of blood, I'm scared of dark, I'm scared of ghosts. And I'm scared of balloon. So many things I'm so afraid of. haha. After tmr, hopefully, I won't faint/puke at the sight of blood. haha. =/

Depriving of sleep now! =/

To me, a close friend is someone whom you can share something with. And somehow the personality must click well. So that when you are down and out, someone is there to feel your pain. I guess that's my definition of a close friend. Sad to say, and hurtful to some, I'm still seeking for that someone. It's not that I don't have a close friend but somehow maybe sometimes the feeling is just not there. Like she's not the one. Yes, we do share special moments. We do think alike but she's just a friend to too many. I am too. A friend to too many. But I don't tell others how I feel, deep down. But her. But I guess, I'm not doing that anymore. It's my problem. Not her's. I just think that something is wrong. I think this friendship should remain as it is now. A friend to too many. She always makes me feel so, I don't know. Yes, we may be close but ever wonder there is someone you are close to too? I don't mean anything but this is just something that's been bugging me for a lot of months. Don't make any changes because I don't see the need to. It just makes me realise how self centered I am.

These passing days, everything feel so wrong. I feel like everyone dislikes me. Have you ever, want to share your experience with someone and they look away and talk to others when you are talking halfway? Or even give you the glance of Shut-up-and-please-stop-talking. It's this 2 people.

I can't get too close to anyone. It's my problem. I'm sorry.

Probably because I needed someone who will give me as much attention as I wanted. Just like God. I'm not expecting anything from anyone but just, probably books are getting me on my weak spots. Every waking moment, I find myself facing a book. That's not a bad thing. Just, it's somehow stress and depressing. But nonetheless, I'm sorry for any hurtful words but I think I just want to be left alone for now.