I've changed my blogskin again. hahas.

Recently, I'd found a very nice song, its "Love Story" by Taylor Swift. But Crush is still my favourite. hahas.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to Monday because that means that I'm left with two more papers and ya. *cross my fingers*

I'd been sick since the start of my O's. It's very strange. My fever will come and go. And my flu is like taking place forever. Oh well. Now I'm hungry. =P

MaybeIshouldlearntoletgobeforefalling.

Today is Halloween! Happy Halloween! :D

Well, actually went back school to study but in the end I dont think I had studied. hehe. But I learnt something about SS. So cool, the girls had kayaking the first day, traking at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve on the second day and the last day, Rock Climbing at Outram Secondary.
I am the camera girl for them today. hahas.
Had cupnoodle for lunch today. Had fun though. [=

Anyways,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JADE WANGWANG! :D

"Idontwantthefeelingtocomebackagain.]="

I could sleep in tmr. :D
But there's like an alarm in me, I will always automatically wake up at 7am. I dont know why. hahas. Saw my beloved GB girls today. It's so fast, they will be breaking camp tmr. It felt so weird, after 3 years of GB camp consecutively, this year I felt empty. No more GB camp at the end of the year. Jieni sae this year's Kaleo Camp will be at GB/BB campsite. I remembered going there last year for GB camp.

It's been awhile since I played basketball, and I think I am quite slack today. But overall it's fun. Had a very long match at the end. BianTai is always the best. [=

Anyways, I hope to have more of these matches. Going to school tmr, to cheer Pris on. [=

"Is the message true, is it really conveying what you feel? If it's true, I'm really delighted but if it's not true, I think I will feel disappointed. If it's just a dream, i hope i will not wake up. I had been thinking about it and will always think that the message is just a prank because no way you will feel that way. Sometimes, how I wish it's true."

Yoga. :D

As shown on my title, this post shall be a quick one.
Physics is down, I think I could do it but I dont know if I could do it good or not. But I will have faith.
4 more papers left and I'm done with the O's.

I went to have a peek at my juniors today after doing some maths stuff. I miss GB and mostly, I miss them! They just came back from kayaking and I had really want to join them. If not for tmr's Emaths paper, I will stay. hahas. But I know I can't. There's still tomorrow. :D
See, I'm starting to look at the bright side of life. :D

Anyways, I shall go and do my Emaths now. I dont know why but am really loving Maths. So, have an urge to do it! :D
Byes!

History is down! Another big big load down. SEQ came out Causes of World War 2 and I could do most of it. The 13marks, secured. :D
SBQ was do-able. This is the first time, one more time, first time that I had finished my History paper. :D
Usually I will always not do finish but Thank God, I finished. hahas.

After the paper, sat under the umbrella table thinking of many different jobs that JianXin could do after he graduates. hahas. Thinking that he will be a lot of things. hahas. :D

Tmr's Physics paper. I'm not prepared but I will do my best on this paper. Must have faith! :D

I woke up in a fluster, thought that I had a paper today. But in the end, found out that today was a public holiday and the paper is tomorrow. I had a weird dream. hahas. It was so far the most vivid dream. Whenever I woke up, I will forgot about my dream but this dream is still vividly etched on my mind. I could see myself in there, and some of my friends. I think I should not say about it cause it's a bit err, out of reach? hahas.

I cooked lunch today. :D
Not bad. Good comments from dad and my two brothers. :D

I shall go mug history now if not I will need to burn midnight oil again.

With much loves,
Vanessa :D

I didnt study today! I had no mood to continue to study anymore. How?

After this whole week of examinations, my energy are all totally drained up. There's still 19 more days, I guess. I hope that I could stick my butt on the chair tmr and focus on History, totally focus. I guess I should use less of the com though.

Well, after exams, more things to worry about. Everything aint the same anymore though.
Never mind, shall not think about it anymore.

I just cleared my emails. All 42 of it.

I like Yoga Lim. :D

Ok, my legs were wobbly. I think I'm weak. hahas.
I was listening to my MP3 just now and I felt an urge to go for a jog and I quickly change and went down. I jogged two rounds around my house neighbourhood. I was stress and thus, went down for an run. I felt way better after that run. It's been like a while since I sweat. It's time to exercise though, even though I'm not going prom. I think that jogging keeps one healthy so, those who are going prom, go for a jog! :D

I'm studying History now. Gonna settle it once and for all. I hope I could finish it by tonight. But if not, maybe tmr. Physics I shall push to tmr, if I have the time. I hope I could replace my Amaths with Combined Humanities. I hope to get an A for it. :D

Few more papers left. Namely, Emaths paper 2, Chemistry paper 1, Physics paper 1 and 2, History and Social Studies. 6 more to go. :D
3more weeks. [=

This morning, have been thinking. I really owned my friends a big sorry.

During this crucial period of time, I cried. Thinking that I cried will make you all more nervous than ever. I'm sorry. If it's me I will be more nervous too. I'm sorry.
Let's continue to work hard for the papers that had yet to be done.

Thanks Cherie for the big big comfort yesterday. hahas. Thanks.

Stuborn or a hint?

I miss blogging and using the com. :D
After studying consecutively for don't know how many days, I'm itching for com!

Monday's Chemistry was ok, was careless and gonna work hard for MCQ.
Tuesday is English. First time write narrative! It was ok, I handed up my compo to Mdm Saleha, re-written one. Forget to take back from her tray. Compre was on cats.
Wednesday's Amaths, cannot make it. After the paper, sadly to say, I cried. Thanks Evon Monster, thanks for your shoulder. Lucky your at my back, if not I dont know whose shoulder's will I landed on. hahas.
Thursday, out studying with many many people.
Friday, Emaths was ok. I hope I could squeeze an A out from it.
During the break, was doing practises, man, I think the stress is too big for me to handle, I cried again. I felt lousy.

Anyways, here's something about O lvl.
Advantages: Actually I could not think of any advantages. It's just that in the hall, it's like Prelims. But thinking it as a Prelim is not good either, I tend to think that there's still any chance. But in fact, this is my last attempt. My last paper.

Disadvantages: So far, I ate about 3 panadols and cried twice. But dont get scared by it though, just do your best and you could do it. [=
Just that I'm dumber so resulted in those things.

English and Amaths, down.
Emaths, Chemistry, Physics, Social Studies and History more to go.

I hope I will not cry anymore.
High School Musical 3. ]=

Chemistry sucks big big big big time! Actually not so bad. I know how to do all. Just that when the chief examiner announce the commencement of the paper, I was so nervous that I had a mental block. Everything seems to fly to dont know where already. Arghh! I had been pinning my hopes to get an A for Chem but, I still hope I could still get an A. God bless!

Tomorrow will be English paper. I hope I could get a B. Tmr's the first time I'm attempting to write a story out, I hope it wont be screw by me. God bless!

The pressure are all sumounting up, accumulating. I think I'm gonna break down soon. Sooner or later.

I was revising my Chemistry today, looking through the notes and memorising them. I thank God that He helped me a lot through today. I will always headache after an hour of studying but today I guai guai study for 5 and a half hours straight. :D
Even though I went out to the living room awhile to watch Finding Nemo.

Tys is going to be finished by me. Now I'm left with year 1997 and 1998 and 1999. Gonna finish my year 99 by tonight and shall finish the two years by tmr. Tomorrow's gonna be Chemistry paper 2. I hope I could score well. I hope I could score an A for it.

Thinking back on the past few months, there's really a lot of people I wanted to thank.
As I was thinking back at what WenSu told me, I think it's really true. Even though I think that dropping to combined sciences is best for me, but God might think that continue is the right path for me. As I was getting more and more confident on my Chemistry, I was thinking that what if I had already dropped by now, I think I should be regreting now. But I just hope that my effort will not go to vain. I really really pray hard that I could get an A1 for my Chemistry.

Also, I wanted to thank JieNi for the encouraging messages. It motivated me to continue my walk with God. It spurs me on. She told me that even though I'm busy preparing for my O's, I should have time for the Lord. I am really regreting for not going to church today. But after O's, I will be able to have more time for God. :D

Also also, a big thank you for Eunice sister. She's always my comforter when I'm down. Still remember the many times when I'm feeling really down, it is like she will sense it and she will always send me a long long message that really calm my sinking heart. Indeed a God send present for me. :D

Last but not least, all my friends, without you girls and guys, I don't think I could go so far. Thank you. :D

I stumble upon this verse just now. It's Hebrews 10:35, "Do not throw away your confidence; for it will be rewarded." It's like God is speaking to me! He's telling me not to let my confident to be dampered, but continue to stay confident for when the time comes to take my result, it will be rewarded. :D
Thus, I commit my studies unto the Lord's hands. Let miracle happen. :D

"I want to be in distinction club. :D"

I know I shouldnt be blogging but but, I'm having itchy hands. :D
It's been like months or weeks since I last touched the com for a whole loads of hours. Now and then I had been checking my blog, blog hopping and appearing offline. hahas. Anyways, monday will be Chemistry paper 2. I still need to memorise my things and stuffs and done. :D

Time is going to be zooming by very very fast.
Chemistry paper 2, English, Amaths paper 1, Amaths paper 2, Emaths paper 1, History, Physics paper 2, Emaths paper 2, Social Studies, Physics paper 1 and last but not least, Chemistry paper 1.

And now, I shall go study. :D

Is it because the examinations are coming that I am feeling more and more alone and utter loneliness had now become my friend. Maybe because of studying stress, that I feel that I am so extra when I'm with my group of friends. I don't feel right, I'm temperate, I'm nothing but just no fun. I tried to think of a way out, but nothing just feel right. Even out of my clique, some of my friends, I still dont feel right. I feel alien. I'm out of the world extra.

"It just hurts this morning. You didn't specify when you needed me. You told me it's afternoon. But yet. early in the morning, you called and sort of scolded me. I know it's not scold but from the tone your saying, it just sound harsh. Imagine, early in the morning to be scolded by your parents, won't it hurt? Yes, it's my fault to not keep track of my time. But what could I do? No matter what, when you just treat as though nothing happen, it hurts in me."

Isn't it nice to have someone to say how much he loves you? It doesn't need to be a direct "I Love You". It can be something indirect. But what I have ever wanted, will always not be mine anymore.

Today, went for Chemistry. I think I had learnt something. I must buck up and do finish my TYS. I dont know what I had been studying for the past few months. It's like aimless. I had been studying this subject and skip to the next and it's like no shore to reach. hahas.
I miss Brownie. I had been having insonmia ever since her death. The images of her pre-dead always flash before me before I went to bed. I would always end up wetting the pillow. I miss her. This few days, had been quite unstable.

Losing grip of myself, losing faith in myself, confident is dropping. I'm... ]=

Went for the last ever basketball game. It was enjoyable but uncomparable to the past. My injury was hit by the ball by leong wei but its ok. :D hahas.

Well.
"I dont recall doing or saying anything bad to you. Is it me that have changed or you? You seems to be avoiding me. If you thinks that I am being a pest to you, just tell me straight in the face. I can dont go near you nor do anything. Well, everything's like a risk. I think I had gambled my friendship away with you. I hope that is not the case. still friends?"


I think I'm gonna be insane soon. This might be the aftermath of what had happened. After Brownie left, I had been checking on BaoBao after I had done a Math question. I'm scared that something will happen to him. Maybe I should relax abit and not so tense up. Brownie looks so beautiful and peaceful when she lay in the box. She looks too beautiful. But the more I look at her, the guiltier I got.

The O's is coming in just a mere 8 days and I can say that I'm half way prepared. Next week onwards, shall concentrate on my studies. But let me just play to my fullest on Monday then.

Stephanie Meyer is indeed a gifted author. I'm starting to fall in love with her stories once more. New Moon is my latest addiction. But yet, the story now doesnt talk about Edward Cullen. As I read the story, I think I could feel Isabella's feeling. The feeling of desperation to grab your beloved's attention. She's trying all sort of ways to hear Edward's voice once more. After that, I shall buy Eclipse.

"What's wrong?"

I'm blogging now is because I wanted to say a big sorry to my friends.

Evon, Shermeen, KaiLin, Jade, Cherie, Sharon, WeiLing, KaiWei, TingTing, Priscilia, Michelle, MinNing, JiaWei, HuiJi, Louis, KokSoon, ChangHui, Sean, JianXin, JunQuan, WenSu, HowCher, DuoJie, SangWei, WeiSian, Keith mama, YiChong, Jonathan mama, LeongWei, ZiYun, KiatWee, HanLin and Pearcesley.

Brownie had passed away just now. In the morning when I woke up, I went to her cage and look for her. She was as usual, sleeping. I called her name, thinking that she's still sleeping because she was still breathing. Her breathing was fast. She walked up the slope like a drunken, staggering left and right. She rolled down the slope after that. I hold her on my palm. She was still breathing. My younger brother say she was playing dead. Brownie's still moving when she's on my hand. Then, I put her in her house. I went into the room, after that, my younger brother came rushing in telling me that Brownie had stopped her breathing. I ran out only to find out that she's gone.

To Brownie,
Even though you had been with me for just a mere three days, my feelings for you is as though you had been with me for 3 years and more. I miss you. Remembering that when I first saw you, I was so happy and ecstatic. Now that you're gone, all was gone. I could no longer smile or anything. Looking at you lying lifelessly on my palm, I felt wrecked. I could do nothing to save you, I am useless. You are just a baby, yet I could nothing to save you, to prolong your life. There are so many things that I had yet to do with you. I love you. You must go find God and BeiBei, they will look after you. God will shower His grace upon you.

Few months ago, BeiBei left me. Now it's you. I could no longer take it anymore. The feeling of your beloved leaving you. Brownie, BeiBei. Now is left is BaoBao.
Brownie. ]=

Okays, just a quick update of today. School was ok, everything's fine. Well, after school, went to find jieni. It's been like ages since I last seen her. I miss her! She passed us Ms Chiam's wedding invitation. They say they are wearing dress but the thing is, I dont wear dress. hahas. Jeans are informal so ya. Pris say she wanna go shopping and she asked me along. hahas. After that, on the way to lunch, Pris, Evon, Sharon had a silent protest on me. They say if I agrees to go Prom night then they will talk to me. But the answer is a definite no. This kind of thing just dont suit me, even though it's a once in a life time but ya, I dont like it. So I'm sorry friends.
Went to the Maths course. Thanks JunQuan for teaching me, you dont so stress, I know your smart, so jiayou. hahas.

Gonna play basketball on monday! yay!

Okays, just a side note, I hope the both of them will be back to normal again. Both of you might think that it's each other fault but many years down the road, when you think back, you might regret, thinking that because of minor things it flawed your friendship. If I know this will happen, I would rather you all not celebrate my birthday. Ya, so its my fault ok. I hope that everything will be fine again.
Also also, Sharon and Priscilia! Must tell me why you angry with me ok? I wanna know. Please tell me. Thank you! :D

Ok, everyone's gloomy today. I dont know why but ya, mostly everyone is gloomy.
Went to the Emaths Seeding Program today. Was quite ok just that the air condition was cold. Was given a treat by the teachers. hahas. Its some snacks.

Well, my leg was worst today. It hurts even when I didnt move it. My dad told me i had hurt the inside of the knee. I could feel the swollen-ness of the leg. hahas. Oh well, it will get well. hahas. :D

Tmr's the last day of school. But will be going back to school the next wk. I will miss my friends. ]=

A really big thank you to all my friends who stay up till so late to wish me happy birthday and and thanks for the present. I really love it! hahas. I named it Brownie, which my friends had told me. hahas. It's a nice name. :D
BianTai celebrated my birthday yesterday and I think something unpleasant happened. I hope that they will be fine. This is the last week of school already, I hope that you can resolve whatever problems that is still between you two. No matter what, I still love you two. :D
My leg is giving me problems. It hurts a lot. I dont dare to put too much pressure on it but it looks cool. :D
Thanks Evon monster for applying the cream for me. Thank you! :D
Finally, a big thank you to everyone! :D
I love you peepo. :D

"Tell me what are you thinking about and I will understand. :D"

WA! FINALLY AH! Hey peepo. These few days had been M.I.A because my internet connection was gone. It's been 5 full days that I had not used the com and and I missed it! But thank God, during this period of time, I used it to study. :D

Okays, I've got a lot to say. (I think).

Fri was the day which my internet connection was gone, but the memories of Friday was vague. Sat and Sun too. So lets start on Monday, which is yesterday. hahas.
Wanna say a big Thank You to Wen Su. Thanks for the word of encouragement. I know you wanted to tell me something but could not express it out but I roughly get what you are saying. hahas. You are saying that, even though I may think that dropping to combined sciences will be the best for me but God might think otherwise. God might think that if I continue taking Pure Sciences will be the best. And always remember that God always plan the best for us. Believe in God and nothing will go wrong. hahas. It sounds awkward when you say that, I believe that maybe you saw me crying that day and you decided to comfort me. Really thank you, appreciated it. :D
I went back to the Emaths course, this time round was better. I've learnt something. So, I think I will go back tmr.
Today, early in the morning received JieNi's encouraging sms. hahas. Really thank you! It really makes my day. [=
Played bball! Thanks BianTai for celebrating it for me. [= Really thank you.
Ok, a big present was given to me today, two big scars on my right knee. hahas. The ball came dropping on my head, I thought I am balancing well, never had I know that I was plunging downwards. hahas. It still hurts now. Especially bathing time! Wa that was a killer! I almost can't make it out of the toilet. hahas.
HanLin, dont keep apologising to me. hahas. I am in the fault too. A bicycle should not enter the basketball court so, it's my fault. Want to blame, blame myself for riding into the basketball court. hahhahas. :D
But But! The scars look cool! :D hahas. I am being sadistic. hahas.
I had an advanced birthday present from dad. He bought me "New Moon". Thanks Daddy! :D I love you!
Today there's like 5 people saying Happy Birthday to me. hahas. I got shocked though. hahas. But but, really thank you to those kind friends who had chipped in. Really thank you. :D

"Do you hate me that much?"

To my friend,
Never had we think that we will become like this. I know that I'm at the fault. My tone was harsh. I know you meant well. But yet I had mis-interpreted your welfare. I know that you meant well, I know. I cry is not because I'm gaining attention nor am I upset about what you say. It is just that whenever I talked about this topic I will feel really upset about it, there were times when I feel like crying during chem lesson, but yet, I told myself that I must stay firm to my choice made but after I had told Ms Zaleha about my decision to drop, I am not at all firm. I had been crying during Chemistry lesson. Because I could not adapt. Yes, I will get use to it, I know but now I had decided to continue, It is because I dont want to be a crybaby anymore. I am tired of crying during lesson time, with Mrs Teo telling me to go see the Principal and Mr Amos Ng. I dont want to cause trouble to anyone. I promise you I will not be shaken with the choice again.
I think that I will not be able to talk to you over this matter. I dont want to have an one on one talk because I know that it might end up bad. Just give me time to think and I know by next week, everything will go back to normal. Just wanted to say I'm Sorry.

"I wanted to tell you, but I dont know how to say."

Putting GOD first in my life. Love God. Love Life. Love Others. Heart Of God Church! <3

Hello,
I am Vanessa Quek!


I blog to pen down my thoughts and also to remember the important milestones in my life!

I'm someone who has faith in God and the God within me!

I'm working hard to be in likeness to Christ! Be radical for Him! Giving Him the best years of my life!

HOGC

Interested in Korean culture and their, K-pop

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