To me, a close friend is someone whom you can share something with. And somehow the personality must click well. So that when you are down and out, someone is there to feel your pain. I guess that's my definition of a close friend. Sad to say, and hurtful to some, I'm still seeking for that someone. It's not that I don't have a close friend but somehow maybe sometimes the feeling is just not there. Like she's not the one. Yes, we do share special moments. We do think alike but she's just a friend to too many. I am too. A friend to too many. But I don't tell others how I feel, deep down. But her. But I guess, I'm not doing that anymore. It's my problem. Not her's. I just think that something is wrong. I think this friendship should remain as it is now. A friend to too many. She always makes me feel so, I don't know. Yes, we may be close but ever wonder there is someone you are close to too? I don't mean anything but this is just something that's been bugging me for a lot of months. Don't make any changes because I don't see the need to. It just makes me realise how self centered I am.

These passing days, everything feel so wrong. I feel like everyone dislikes me. Have you ever, want to share your experience with someone and they look away and talk to others when you are talking halfway? Or even give you the glance of Shut-up-and-please-stop-talking. It's this 2 people.

I can't get too close to anyone. It's my problem. I'm sorry.

Probably because I needed someone who will give me as much attention as I wanted. Just like God. I'm not expecting anything from anyone but just, probably books are getting me on my weak spots. Every waking moment, I find myself facing a book. That's not a bad thing. Just, it's somehow stress and depressing. But nonetheless, I'm sorry for any hurtful words but I think I just want to be left alone for now.